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Ask Anyone

a sext-book case

I’m not a dumb man just a little slow and was hoping you could help me out. About a month ago I meet this girl at a Sabres' game, after she asks me to go bar hoping, We part ways and I forget to get her number, a few days later she texts me thanking me for a great time and I suggest we get together again. We do and she was late not 5-10 min late but 45. her phone died she said that’s why she did not text me. I don’t know why but i ask her to the next Sabres' game and we go. after some drinks and late night dinner at Mothers we make out like high school kids in the car. We text back and forth like 2 weeks she says she wants to see me again, but every time i try to get some face time the text stops and the after a day there is some excuse as to why she did not get back to me. This little game has been going on for almost a month. Even yesterday she texts me saying “lets cut to the chase what do you like in bed?” and after a whole day of text, but no face time. I even asked if she was not interested to just tell me she said no she was interested just busy. I get she is busy, but REALLY we are all busy. Any thoughts for the new year?

—Fast-Finger Freddy

Ruthless says: Text is not love, fine sir. Nor is sex.

This sounds like a distraction for her, an amusement, nothing she really wants to put much “face time” into. Now that most girls can text in speeds in excess of, I dunno, whatever would be super-fast, it’s really no big thing to fire off a flirtatious note, something that might get you all hot and bothered but that she doesn’t care a bit about. After all, it’s not like she has to see you and follow through on anything. Texting is like the equivalent of a phone conversation where you get to hang up after each thing you say or point you make, and then you get to decide whether or not to pick up when the other person calls back. That way you never have to answer a question you don’t want to, or experience an awkward moment of silence. Pretty superficial.

The Sales Guy says: Seems to me this girl is serial dating and you are one of many in her never-pay-for-dinner Rolodex. Hey, it’s her life and she might be working out her bad breakup by dating Erie and Niagara counties.

Now, if you two come to some sort of casual understanding, that can be cool as well. However, do not get emotionally involved or invest too much time on this chick: She’s on emotional disconnect, and even if she likes you, it’s dicey at best. Oh, and one more thing: If this evolves into some sort of booty call arrangement—wear a body condom.

The Guy in the Back Room says: New Year’s resolution: GIVE UP TEXTING. Make plans to see each other again during the date, call to firm up but don’t make plans via text message. It shows A) a lack of confidence because you don’t have the balls to talk to this woman over the phone; B) you’re too lazy to have a conversation; or C) you don’t care enough to actually converse.

How did relationships start before text messaging? People met and made plans in person to meet again. These little text message games are meaningless and only hurt the chances of making a relationship work. Let’s all boycott texting this year, save it for the times when you can’t possibly answer the phone. Like when you’re driving, or at the movies, or during sex.

The Straight Skinny says: Maybe this is your opportunity to polish up that piece you’ve been working on for “Penthouse Forum.” Sadly, like those writers, you won’t get within a hundred feet of this woman’s actual body, but won’t it be nice to write about what you would like to be doing?

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