Rodent Control

The Erie County Legislature approved a proposal on April 14 to redirect $70,000 in Medicaid stimulus funding towards the growing rat problems of several first-ring suburbs. There’s a joke in here somewhere about rats in municiapal government that we’re just going to leave to the imagination.

Playoff Prohibitions

To support the Sabres in their playoff series against the hated Philadelphia Flyers, Mayor Byron Brown declared City Hall a “No-Orange Zone” on April 18, and vowed not to eat or wear anything orange during the series—all while curiously wearing a very obviously orange-colored tie. Huh?

Helicopter Parenting

Facing ridicule for its zealous regulation, the New York Department of Health on April 19 rescinded rules for summer camps that offer “recreational activities with significant risk of injury”such as wiffleball, red rover, tag and dodgeball. Kids rejoice! Once again you can scrape your knees without scrutiny.

Entry Level Jobs

McDonalds held a regional job fair in Amherst on April 19 as part of their “National Day of Hiring, an effort to add 50,000 workers nationwide in a single day. Heard that recent college grads? Chin up! Despite a down economy and your massive, looming student debt payments, you could still make $8 an hour!

Female Clergy

A small gathering of local Catholics protested outside St. Joseph Cathedral on April 19 to show support for a women’s ability to be ordained to the priesthood. Considering the bad press the Church has received of late and their unyielding position on celibacy, it might be time to listen up.

Increase in salary received by new UB President Satish Tripathi over his predecessor John Simpson. Tripathi, who was approved by the SUNY Board of Trustees on April 18, will receive $385,000 from the university, $150,000 from the private UB Foundation and $115,000 from the SUNY Research Foundation. His total compensation of $650,000 dwarfs the $477,299 received by Simpson at the time of his retirement.