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Red Carpet Secrets

Photos by Rose Mattrey. Click on any image to enlarge.

Am I the only person who watches those red carpet shows preceding every damn award program? OSCARS! EMMYS! GOLDEN GLOBES! THE HEISMAN TROPHY! (I don’t know if that last one has a red carpet show, because all my ESPN channels are blocked. And by the way, I don’t think I should have to pay for Time Warner!) Because, if you love all things award show, as I do, you know to get on that red carpet EARLY! We have all seen video footage of Jessica Biel walking around a red carpet that’s as empty as the Australian outback: EVERYONE talks to her! Everyone takes HER picture! She’s smart. She got there early! She didn’t wait until 15 minutes before the show started, only to walk into the room with Julia Roberts, Sandra Bullock, and that camera hog Catherine Zeta-Jones!

So while my trusted and gifted photographer, Rose, and I were killing time in front of the Town Ballroom, explaining to foreigners at the youth hostel next door the difference between DOLLAR TREE and DOLLAR GENERAL, what were you doing? Taking pictures of yourself with your camera phone! Well, show those pix to your friends and explain to them why you’re not on the list of the Best Dressed at this year’s Artie Awards!

1.) I’m going to start with the actress who gave my favorite performance of the year as St. Monica in Road Less Traveled Productions’ Last Days of Judas Iscariot, the magnificent Adrienne Lewis, who wore a one-shoulder periwinkle jersey dress.

2.)It didn’t matter what time nominee Ellen Horst made her entrance. Her fire engine red outfit made ALL heads turn!

3.) If I were the Queen (the Queen, not a queen) she would be DAME Barbara Link LaRou! I told her she looked like a winner in this regal gold-tiered dress, and I was RIGHT! Later that evening, she picked up her Artie as Outstanding Actress in a Play for her performance as Katharine Cornell in The Grand Manner at the Kavinoky.

4.) Another winner in everyone’s book is Leah Russo, seen here accepting her Artie as Outstanding Supporting Actress in a musical for her performance in The Furies of Mother Jones at Subversive Theatre, wearing a flirty burgundy and turquoise brocade cocktail dress.

5.) Without question, the Jakiel women are beautiful and talented. In the past, both mother Jakiel and her daughters have appeared on this list and on the list of Artie nominees. This year it was Amy Jakiel’s turn to shine in the spotlight wearing a striking emerald green column.

6.) Motherhood suits perennial best-dressed lister Nicole Marrale Cimato. She returns to the list this year with taupe ruffles and sequined bodice. Now THAT’S a cover for Parents magazine!

7.) Wendy Hall packs the “VA-VA-VA-VOOM” into this skin-tight white satin gown. I’m not exactly sure what “VA-VA-VA-VOOM” is, but trust me: Wendy has it!

8.) The most attractive couple on the red carpet: Emily Elkin, who wore a heavily embroidered vintage dress that once belonged to her grandmother, escorted by none other than Jesus himself, the adorable and talented Jay Pichardo, Artie nominee for Outstanding Actor in a Play for his performance in The Last Days of Judas Iscariot at Road Less Traveled.

9.) On second thought, maybe this was the most attractive couple: “THE GIRLS OF ICTC”—Rene Radzavich in a provocative raspberry jeweled gown and Laura O’Neill in this cool dove-grey chiffon. (They are not really a “couple.” I just threw that in, because I thought it would titillate any straight guys who might be reading an article about fashion at a theater award show.)

10.)It was my privilege to present Debbie Pappas her Artie for Outstanding Actress in a Musical for her work in James Joyce’s The Dead at Irish Classical Theatre. Her beauty is ethereal, and never more so than on this festive night, in this pearl grey chiffon with rhinestone collar, making it my favorite of the evening.

The bar on the heights of fashion rises each year at these events. To choose only 10 is an injustice to the many people who have inner beauty or no sense of punctuality…until next year…love, jj.