Owner Appreciation

Proving that we have people tackling the big issues in New York State, on Dec. 16 the Division of Cemeteries reversed rules passed earlier this year that prohibited being buried with your pet. Still won’t change the fact that no matter how noble your gesture, your cat still doesn’t give a shit about you.

Brain Drain

You might as well rename the Say Yes to Education Foundation’s scholarship grant to Buffalo Schools on Dec. 20 the “Get Out of Buffalo Free” card. A charitable and generous endeavour indeed, but surely they must know the fastest way out of this town is attaining a college education. Adios, kids!

Eastward Expansion

Members of Occupy Buffalo migrated from their initial encampment in Niagara Square, establishing a new outpost in Lafayette Square last week. Such a shame. It’s only a matter of time before settlers drive out the indigenous population of one-percenters, and their way of life is lost forever.

Unnecessary Spending

Congresswoman Kathy Hochul, whose conservative election foe Jane Corwin painted her with the broad brush of Democratic free-spending, is giving back $575,000 in unused office funds to the general treasury. In 2011 Hochul used only 30 percent of her $825,000 office budget.

Street Food

Five months after first choosing to ignore the issue, the Buffalo Common Council will consider new regulations for licensing food trucks. The new rules, drawn up on Dec. 20, hope to bring an end to the ongoing fight between mobile vendors and static downtown restaurants. Let there be burritos!

Percentage of Buffalo Public Schools students who graduate in four years. On Dec. 19 the Say Yes to Education Foundation announced Buffalo as the second city chosen for their free college tuition program, guaranteeing funding at a SUNY school. The 20-year guarantee would cost roughly $100 million, of which $15 million has been raised.