Holiday Gift Guide 2005	Chill Out by Lauren N. Maynard

I’m just beginning this article on a looming deadline with the sad beginnings of a holiday checklist mocking me on the coffee table. My procrastination goes beyond the empty page; come early December, I will most likely have put off the essential shopping trips until, like last year, a forced march ensues at the local mall on Christmas Eve, where I’ll be harassed by hordes of the overly joyful and swept further into a state of deep shame by worn-out moms on their 11th-hour Stocking Stuffer Run and glassy-eyed boyfriends searching for something—anything—in 14k gold.

Mysteriously, the world speeds up come Labor Day, and before you can say “trick or treat” the holidays rush in with an exhausting wave of familial obligations, endless television jingles and Hallmark cards from friends you’ve nearly forgotten about. It’s right about now that nine-to-fivers and soccer moms alike recoil in horror from the hot breath of eight tiny reindeer pulling Black Friday inexorably closer in its over-laden sleigh.

Below are a few simple ideas to help free you of the festive frazzles.

1. Plan ahead.

Start gift and food lists in early November, before the rush. Make sure travel plans are solid and that family members are prepped to help (see number 3).

2. Prioritize.

Make separate lists of what needs to be done PRONTO (order turkey) vs. next week-ish (find icicle lights in attic). Put them on the fridge and commit to them, allowing for some natural slippage from a November weekend of “CSI” marathons.

3. Perfect the art of delegation.

Know when to ask for help. Have children with too much time or energy? Kids and teens ages five on up can and should help whittle away your holiday checklist; a friend of mine uses this “Mrs. Santa’s Little Helper” routine to much success. Try interspersing their weekly chores and yours with unpacking decorations one week, or shopping for stocking stuffers and helping plan a holiday meal the next. Get your spouse or partner to do laundry or shop for pie ingredients.

Above all, calmly ask, don’t tell, your family what needs to be done based on your brilliant planning and prioritizing in steps 1 and 2. Reward with hugs and hot toddys. This also works well at the office (well, not the hugs). If there are ways to reorganize the workload so that you can actually make the holiday cocktail party, make those changes early in your third-quarter scheduling meetings so everyone’s responsibilities (including yours) are more manageable when fourth-quarter time gets tight.

4. Be realistic with relatives.

Keep in mind that Granny wasn’t put on the earth to make holidays miserable. If you’re visiting relatives, call them way before the holidays to arrange arrival times, set parameters for what you’re willing to do, or not. But know that now is the time to put on your diplomatic, smile-for-the-camera face.

5. Be realistic with yourself.

Don’t try to have a Martha Stewart Christmas or a Barbara Streisand Chanukah. Holidays, like children and souffles, are rarely perfect, so make food ahead when possible and don’t worry that the house isn’t Cleaver clean. On Christmas Eve, my mother skips the the souffles and makes a batch of yummy chili served up with a store-bought pie.

Most importantly, stay healthy. Get plenty of sleep, try to exercise a little and try to eat balanced meals when the cookies aren’t out.

6. Do something relaxing every day.

As the merry-making machine gets into gear, take stress-busting to the next level. Enroll now in a meditative exercise class, like yoga or tai chi, to help you glide into the gift-giving season with an “om.” Try the co-ed classes at Buffalo Yoga (Tri-Main Center 2495 Main Street) or East Meets West (758 Elmwood Ave.), or keep your splurge on the frugal side with a pay-what-you can session or two at the Himalayan Institute (841 Delaware Ave). Take up knitting, the firing range, or sitting around doing nothing. Whatever lets you unwind.

7. ‘Tis the season to buy some joy.

For instant relief, splurge on a facial or massage. The Massage Studio, (181 Allen St.) is offering gift certificates for a very affordable 75-minute massage, good through Dec. 23rd. Or, pick up the classic guide to reclaiming Christmas, Unplug the Christmas Machine: A Complete Guide to Putting Love and Joy Back into the Season, by Jo Robinson and Jean C. Staeheli ($12.95, Harper Paperbacks). Keep your shopping manageable by giving each person on your list only his or her top two or three gifts. Leave the impulse buys and “little extras” on the shelf; you’ll have less to wrap, and we all know what it’s like to get that weird pair of roller skates from Uncle Lou or the inexplicable kitchen utensil.

8. Infuse work with spirit.

Bad seasonal mojo can fester at work, so ask your boss to (or, if you are the boss) set up anti-stress activities for your entire office. Buffalo’s busy Travers Collins ad agency recently offered in-office 10-minute massages to its employees, who haven’t had a better lunch break since.

For those with a large expense account, the amazingly posh and well-appointed new Executive Performance Center (Linwood Avenue, 882-1400) offers spa gift certificates for a cool $250. That gets the tired executive a full Swedish body massage for two, use of their Cardio Studio excercise room, and a gourmet lunch for two. The Center’s 96-year old Arts and Crafts headquarters was painstakingly converted from a stately home into a stunning, fully-equipped luxury spa and executive development retreat. Not for mere mortals, but hey, with 40 percent of all U.S. workers suffering from some sort of occupational stress, we can all dream.

For an alternative to the painful Pollyanna, organize a day ski trip to Holiday Valley or after-work ice skating (Fountain Plaza at Main and Chippewa opens Tuesday, November 29). Or, if you’re more the happy-hour karaoke crowd, pick a few easy songs, share a pitcher of eggnog and go caroling at the first sign of snow.

9. Keep it local.

Travel is stressful. Rather than cram the holidays into one blow-out show in Toronto or a Caribbean cruise, local events can help keep your quality time convenient and affordable. Check out local arts shows like Western New York Artists Group’s “Artful Gifts” open house, Dec. 2, 7:30-9pm, through Jan. 6 at Art Dialogue Gallery, One Linwood Avenue. Or, go see a family musical like Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer (Lancaster Opera House, Nov. 25–Dec.18) or visit an outdoor light display (Hamburg Fairgrounds Holiday Lights Festival, Nov. 23–Jan. 1).

Create a yearly tradition and dance with the sugar plums at a local Nutcracker performance (American Academy of Ballet, UB Center of the Arts, Dec. 2–4) or take in some holiday carols (Buffalo Choral Arts Society’s “Christmas Memories,” (Dec. 9-11 at the OLV Basilica). If you celebrate Hanukkah, get involved with community events like Temple Beth Am’s Young Family Casual Shabbat Dinner (Dec. 9) or annual Latkefest & Chinese Dinner, (Dec. 25, Chanukah’s First Night).

10. Don’t spend time, make it.

Simplify your gift gathering by taking several short, focused shopping trips throughout the season. Just say no to throwing or attending extravagant or multiple parties. Most importantly, set aside time to be with friends and family, no matter how casual the circumstances.

Take the entire family to a tree farm and lash a fresh Douglas fir to the minivan—together. Try to schedule a dinner date with your partner rather than cook one night a week, even if it’s just burgers and beer, and visit your grandmother for an hour or two at the old folk’s home. Invite next-door neighbors to a potluck. Make time for church, Temple and your own home rituals. Once the entire family descends, you’ll thank yourself for taking the time to slow down and smell the evergreen.

If you feel like there’s no time take these steps, please take a deep breath. Now close your eyes and visualize eight tiny reindeer sliding these ideas down the chimney. You and I could both use them.