(photo: Rose Mattrey)

Scantily-clad magazine cut-outs shamelessly decorate the walls, and it looks like a grenade went of in the closet, blasting clothes across the room. And then there’s that unidentifiable, eye-watering odor—like a carcass of a large mammal.

Under this Paleozoic layer of clothes was once a dorm room.

While buying your teen or college frosh a box of garbage bags and a can of Lysol this holiday season may be the best way to help the room achieve Fung Shui, there is now an entire retail industry dedicated to turning rat’s nests into presentable college pads.

Shopping and decorating for the eternally out-of-cash adolescent are easier than ever. A few years ago, several big-box chains like Target and Bed, Bath & Beyond started featuring “Back to College” items—from body pillows to entertainment units—that cater to the “poor college student” demographic. But while some students may be hard up for cash, their parents apparently are not; Americans spent $3.6 billion on dorm-room and apartment furnishings this year alone.

Here are a few problem areas, quick gift ideas and stuff to avoid getting high school and college students in need of a little room remodeling.

More Décor

Rope Lights. They’re cheap, cheerful, and they don’t take up precious surface space. Check out the shops along Elmwood for some unique styles. (Flower Lights, Everything Elmwood, 740 Elmwood Ave., $27.99; Chili Pepper Lights, Thunder Bay, 734 Elmwood Ave., $17)

Frameable prints. That outdated poster of a bare-chested Heath Ledger needs replacing. More tasteful (and very cool) wall décor can be found at Poster Art. (1055 Elmwood Ave., $10-75)

Houseplants. The Chinese evergreen and philodendron are plants that demand little attention to survive. Watering it once or twice a week will keep it ticking. (Chinese Evergreen, $12.50, Park Florist and Greenhouse Inc., 2926 Main St.; Philodendron, $15-20, Mother Nature Plant Emporium, 712 Elmwood Ave.)

Rug. A rug is a great way to hide grime and to avoid stepping on God-knows-what from last year’s filthy tenant. (9 x 12 unbounded rug, $39, FWS, 1738 Elmwood Ave.)

Dish Chairs. Good for reading or lounging in front of the TV, these saucer-shaped chairs are quite affordable and come in several colors. ($39.99-49.99, select Target locations)

Desk Lamp. The “Adam and Eve” lamp at Eminent Design provides good lighting for reading while giving the room some personality. And nothing says personality like a lamp with feet and anatomically correct pull cords. ($39, Eminent Design, 191 Allen St.)

Standards of Living

Coffeemaker. To the college student, coffee is as necessary as water and oxygen. A French Press manual coffeemaker is stylish and simple—all you need is access to hot water. ($19.95, Blue Mountain Coffee, 509 Elmwood Ave.)

Humidifier. Dorm ventilation can dry rooms to the point of nosebleeds and sinus problems. (Holmes Humidifier, $36, select Valu Home Centers)

Pull-up Bar. Good for relieving stress, and for fighting off that “freshman 15.”(TKO Chin-up Bar, $14.95, Pacillo’s, 1390 Hertel Ave.)

Tie/Belt Rack. The kind that hangs on your door can hold hats, coats, belts, ties, and even shoes. (Cedar Tie Rack, $14.99, S & K Menswear, Walden Galleria)

Just Plain Lame

Whiteboards. Markers get stolen, and angry ex’s leave embarrassing messages on them.

Lava Lamps. It’s not real lava, and it’s not a real lamp. Let’s get over it.

Cactus Plant. Falling into one while intoxicated is the ultimate buzz-kill.

Torchiere Lamp. Be sure to package this gift with a fire extinguisher—these things are proven fire hazards.

Bean Bag Chair. Tacky, becomes quickly uncomfortable, and it’s a mess to clean up if the bag is punctured.