Dovo Solingen GmbH • http://www.dovo.de • MSRP: $110

Gillette Mach3 is for pansies. Norelco’s patented “Lift and Cut” system is for even bigger pansies. Bic’s double-blade disposable razors with the grody mucous strip are for cheap pansies. Any razor that shoots “soothing gel” out of the handle—you got it, man. Pansies. Real men—by which I mean the kind of guys who get bored and go base jumping—use straight razors.

They aren’t very common anymore, but there are still two European companies that make them the old-fashioned way: by grinding down some high-carbon steel by hand until it’s sharp enough to scrape the letters off this paper. A straight razor is much sharper than that stainless steel Ginsu knife you bought from QVC, because stainless steel physically can not be sharpened enough to do the job. You take the razor into the bathroom and close the door behind you, and when you come out a half-hour later, you will be missing either your facial hair or your face.

So, aside from stupidity, why would people do this to themselves on purpose? Well, when was the last time you shaved so close you didn’t get a five o’clock shadow until the next day? Does your significant other have a nasty habit of stealing your Mach3 and not mentioning it until after it’s gone dull and mangled your face? Not with a straight razor, my friend. And what with the shaving soap, the shaving brush, and the hot towels, a straight razor shave is like a day spa without the cucumber-goggles (only it’s manly, see, because most licensed day spas will not accidentally almost slice off your Adam’s apple). Furthermore, chicks seem to dig watching a guy put himself in mortal peril just so he can look like a dreamboat.

So if you’re a suburban, white-collar executive type whose biggest thrill is taking your Porsche Cayenne to Wilson Farms when your wife asks you to go out and buy her tampons, maybe you can put some real excitement back into your life by menacing your jugular with a three-inch, high-carbon steel blade every morning before you’ve had your coffee. It sure beats base jumping.

Pros: Using a straight razor will prove your manliness to your bathroom mirror.

Cons: You’ll get to know the morning-shift emergency room nurses by name.

Dave is Artvoice’s webmaster and has a healthy, luxurious beard. Send your cutting comments to: webmaster@artvoice.com.