Queen City Roller Girls	Spring in Their Skates by Gabe Armstrong

Back in February, the Queen City Roller Girls baptized themselves in a Valentine’s-themed exhibition match called “Slugs and Kisses,” a bout which pitted two teams bearing those names against one another. The Sluggers and Kissers were temporary squads, specially arranged for the sake of the bout.

Now they’re back, with new teams and and a new theme: On Saturday, March 31, the Suicidal Saucies skate against the Nickel City Knockouts in Crackin’ Eggs and Takin’ Names, at the Rainbow Roller Rink (101 Oliver Street, North Tonawanda). Intermission entertainment will be provided by the Blue Rocket Trio.

February’s heart-shaped bout at Rainbow Roller Rink provided fans a great sneak-preview of what these feisty roller girls have to offer this season. And it gave the girls a good chance to see how they would mold into a league and into distinct, permanent teams.

“We’re playing different positions and seeing how the game reacts to it. Some people are just good at doing what they do,” said Her-Ass-Her.

The Kissers barely beat the Sluggers by a score of 100-95. They played to a packed house full of enthusiastic fans.

Kiki KonKussion, not playing for a specific team, served in a sort of M.C. role, clad in a Catholic schoolgirl getup, armed with stiletto heels and a whip. This set the tone for the love and punishment vibe. The exhibition match yielded a decent number of high-scoring jammers (offensive skaters who attempt to run laps around a pack of defensive blockers) along with penalty-prone skaters.

Skating in black, several jammers for the Sluggers scored big. The tall, blonde and slender Pissy Longstocking racked up an impressive number of laps past her opponents, along with Alley Oops, a shorter, sleek-framed brunette who certainly rang in her fair share of offense. Flo Torious chipped in too.

On the winning red team, the Kissers, a whole slew of fast-jammin’ skaters scored impressively. Janeiac, Sissy Fit and Fetishy Devine helped the team gain an early boost and subsequently capture the win.

Let’s not forget the defensive component of the game: The blockers and pivots played a pivotal (pun included) role in preventing many-a-wannabe speed demon from lapping the pack. Coming out strong on defense were CN Red and Diamond Crusher, both of whom sent many opposing jammers onto their respective asses, along with a number of blasts from Mia Mauler, Dr. Dementer and others.

Janeiac and Flo Torious weighed in with the highest number of penalties, each being required to participate in a blind pillow fight by Kiki KonKussion at the conclusion of the bout. Wielding her punishment whip, Kiki let the offending skaters know they’d been up to no good.

Be sure to catch some live, unadulterated Queen City Roller Girls action on Saturday. It’s the first of the four-game regular season. The Nickel City Knockouts are led by captain Mia Mauler and co-captain Sweet Pea, while the Suicidal Saucies are led by captain Dr. Dementer and co-captain Flo Torious.

Since February, the Nickel City Knockouts picked up a new skater, Fleshette, a promising young talent from Port Colborne. But Punk’n Pi of the Suicidal Saucies is out for the season with a likely career-ending knee injury. Suicidal Saucy Flo Torious, who was skating gingerly and aggravated a knee injury at the expo bout in a truly nasty spill, has recovered and will be skating Saturday.

The league’s third team, the Devil Dollies, will assist the officiating staff in moderating the event. Devil Dollies Captain Metal Mistress will be Bout Mistress, while Kiki KonKussion will reprise her role in the penalty box, joined by some weirdo wearing a pink bunny suit.

Afterwards the girls from both teams invite their fans to join them for a drink at Mohawk Place (47 E. Mohawk Street), with music by Dai Atlas, the Old Sweethearts, Flag Machine, the Missing Planes, the Rabies and the Hammond Shutdown. Wish Renee a happy birthday.

Tickets to the bout are $10 in advance or $15 at the door. They can be purchased at New World Records (765 Elmwood Avenue), CowPok (177 Elmwood Avenue) or Art-N-Body (5407 Sheridan Avenue, Williamsville) or online at queencityrollergirls.net.