Ask Anyone

A SEPARATE PEACE

A year after we broke up, I’m still trying to get back CDs and books from my ex. The worst part is, as a result I’m reluctant to mix my CDs and books with my current girlfriend’s collection. She doesn’t say anything, but I know it bothers her. What can I do—about my lost CDs and my current girlfriend? —Lo Fidelity

The Gadget Guy says: Your ex stole your CDs? Jesus, it’s like we’re in 1994 again, and my high school crush has just tossed my favorite Spin Doctors album out the passenger window of her new boyfriend’s mom’s Oldsmobile. “Aw shucks,” I mutter and kick a tin can down the street, for these are simpler times. “Golly, I wish she liked me,” I think. “And while we’re at it, I wish that there were some kind of pocket-sized device that I could put all my music into and keep with me all the time. Because I could use some Nirvana right now.”

The Gay Perspective: I’ve been with my partner for decades and we still haven’t co-mingled our CDs. Or our checking accounts. Or our soft drinks on the bottom shelf of the fridge. What’s wrong with you straight people? Forget your old girlfriend and your old CDs and move on.

Ruthless says: Don’t you still have a key? Let yourself in while she is at work and take them. (You can do the same thing when you break up with your current girlfriend.)

* * *

SPOILED ROTTEN

I do most of my grocery shopping at the Lexington Co-op, even though it can be more expensive than the supermarket, because I like the atmosphere and the mission. But if one thing irks me, it’s the avocados. I can’t tell you how many bad avocados I’ve brought home from the Co-op; about one in three look great on the outside but are black and bitter inside. Yesterday I left the Co-op and had walked about a block when I realized I’d forgotten to pay for my cup of coffee and newspaper. I shrugged it off, figuring it was compensation for all those bad avocados. I know you’re going to tell me I’m in the wrong, but why? I mean, big deal. Convince me. —Walk-Away Renee

The Food Reviewer says: Let your conscience be your guide. If you feel the Co-op is ripping you off, and this accidental freebie helps you feel like karmic balance has been restored, then more power to you.

But if you’re worried enough about it that you’re writing to us, then your karma may not be as harmonic as you’re trying to tell yourself it is. Balanced karma and self-justification are very different things; one is conducive to mental and spiritual health, while the other is the very thing most dangerous to both.

So I wouldn’t recommend making a habit of it. I would, however, recommend getting your avocados at Guercio’s on Grant Street by Lafayette. A mark of human intelligence is not repeating mistakes, after all. And Guercio’s has consistently excellent produce.

Gadget Guy: Let’s face it: You don’t buy avocados at the Co-op because you expect them to be any good. You buy avocados at the Co-op because of the way it feels when you tell your friends: “I got these at the Co-op.” But when your fresh guacamole is a nasty black goo, your friends couldn’t care less about your grocery store’s “atmosphere.” Try the North Tonawanda farmer’s market instead. They’re way more indie than the Co-op, and they won’t rip you off either. And if you’re actually concerned about “mission,” all the vendors there are local.

The Gay Perspective: Pay the Co-op for the paper and the coffee. Complain to the Co-op about the avocados. Is that so difficult? Ethics are not a matter of your personal convenience, but of values. Since you admire the Co-op’s mission, I trust you do have values? Follow them! By avoiding the temptation to shoplift, you help keep prices lower. By reporting the quality of the produce, you help the Co-op deal with their vendor.

Ruthless says: That depends on whether the newspaper was the Buffalo News or the New York Times. And whether or not it was a Sunday.

Ask Anyone is local advice by and for local people. If you have a question for our panel of experts, please send it along to advice@artvoice.com.