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THE GIFT THAT KEEPS ON GIVING

I have an ethical question. A year or so ago I was pretty broke and my car died. A well-to-do friend sold me an extra car (he’s got a few) for practically nothing; she asked me to give her $100, even though the blue book value was more than $5,000. So basically she gave me the car as a favor, for which I am very grateful. I’m doing better now, however, and am looking for another car. Nothing wrong with the old one, I just want to change cars—it never really suited me, but it filled a need. A friend tells me I should offer the car back to my friend at the price she sold it to me. Is that true, should I give her right of first refusal? Or may I sell the car she sold me at market value and use the profit toward the purchase of another car?

The Straight Perspective: Sell the car? Keep the money to use toward a new car? That is completely unethical.

If you want to sleep at night, here’s what you should do: Take the car in for tune-up and oil change, drive through a car wash, fill up the gas tank and give the car back to your friend. Selling you a $5,000 car at $100 was a gift. If you no longer find the gift useful you should return it. Perhaps your friend will say, “Thank you for being so thoughtful, but I really don’t need the car.” Then you may sell it. Perhaps your friend will take the car back, in which case you had the convenience of an affordable automobile for a full year. Count your blessings.

Solomon says: Alternately, you might split this kandy-kolored, tangerine-flake, streamline baby in two.

Figuratively, of course: Taking a torch to the car would hardly demonstrate the gratitude that you say you feel but which does not seem to compel you to the pinnacle of gracious, well-socialized behavior, which the Straight Perspective has outlined for you above.

Your inclination to think of the car as yours has merit: It legally belongs to you; you may sell it if you wish and do what you want with the proceeds. And if your friend were to be upset by your turning the gift into a pile of cash and spending it on a car better suited to your needs and/or tastes, then I suspect this panel of experts would agree that she ought to recall the spirit in which she offered this boon originally. (Would she feel the same way if you swapped a too-small cashmere sweater she gave you at Christmas for a merino wool sweater that fits and store credit?) Furthermore, she gave you a car: If you use the proceeds to buy another car, you are hardly changing the nature of her gift to you. It would be a different matter if you used the proceeds to fund an IRA. Or buy cocaine.

Notwithstanding your right to sell the car, the fact that you are asking this question indicates that you know your friend’s generosity deserves a response in kind. So why not sell the car and surprise her with a check for half of what you get for it? She won’t expect that and should appreciate the acknowledgment of her original largesse. She gets cash she never expected to have, and she still gave you a car.

Dr. Sigmund Fraud says: Ethics get in the way of so many seemingly clear-cut decisions, but here for once I see no conflict. You should be able to do whatever you want with the car you bought from your friend for $100. If you could get a million for it, more power to you. So you were broke and your friend did you a solid by giving you a screaming deal on a car—of which she has several. Are you supposed to be forever beholden to this wealthy friend just because she chose to perform this act of benevolence? Remember, when you took ownership of the car, you took on all the responsibilities that come with it. Had you been in a terrible accident with the car making you liable for millions of dollars in damages, would your friend have offered up the money to settle the claims because he felt guilty—having given you such a good deal on the car?

The real dilemma is that you feel guilty you might turn a nice profit on something that you obtained for next to nothing. But this is what rich people do all the time. For all you know, you saved your friend more than $5,000 in storage fees for a car she didn’t like, never planned to drive and could be written off as a charitable donation. Your wealthy friend became that way precisely because she is not vexed by remorse when making profitable business deals. Sell the car for all the market will bear and savor the experience as something that will give you and your rich friend one more thing in common.

Unless your conscience really bugs you. In which case, I’m really pretty broke and could use a decent set of wheels myself.

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