The Play's The Thing

No matter how much you may disdain Shakespeare—even if the mere mention of the name, as Cliff Clavin once said of Dr. Lilith Sternin-Crane, “makes the butt cheeks clench”—you probably know enough about his most acclaimed play to enjoy Hamlet 2. And if you don’t, here’s all you need to know: At the end of Hamlet, every major character is dead. Most of the minor ones, too.

The mere notion that someone would even attempt to write a sequel to—and I think I’m safe in making this broad statement—the most acclaimed drama in human history is a joke so good that this movie had me laughing more before it even started than a lot of comedies manage even after I’ve watched them. And I am happy to report that they didn’t shoot their wad on the title. Whether you’re a theater buff or wholly indifferent to it, Hamlet 2 is a very funny movie.

It’s largely a vehicle for Steve Coogan, the latest in a long line of British comedians who are hugely popular at home but don’t seem to translate to the US. Think of Rowan Atkinson. And then think of George Bernard Shaw, who noted that England and America are “two countries separated by a common language.”

Coogan plays Dana Marschz, a would-be actor as untalented as his name is unpronounceable. He’s been reduced to teaching a high school drama class in that place where (in the words of the portentous Peter O’Toolean narrator) “dreams go to die”—Tucson, Arizona. (I don’t know what Tucson ever did to the writers of this movie, but boy, do they take their revenge.)

It isn’t bad enough that Marschz has no talent: He also has no taste. He has a job only because, with only two students, he flies under the radar of the school’s athletics-obsessed principal. When his class becomes a dumping spot for Latino students as all the other elective programs are cancelled (more money for the sports budget), he hits upon the idea of occupying them all with a sequel to the world’s most famous play.

His creation is less an extension of Shakespearian themes than a feverish outpouring of his own personal traumas. (The plot, such as it is, puts Hamlet in a time machine and—well, enough said.) It’s a musical, with songs like “Raped in the Face” and the show-stopping “Rock Me Sexy Jesus,” the later currently pissing off the children of the folks who protested against Monty Python’s Life of Brian without ever bothering to see it.

As directed by Andrew Fleming (the underrated Dick), who co-wrote the script with South Park’s Pam Brady, Hamlet 2 is a film of no depth or meaning. It’s simply funny, largely silly funny but with a generous dose of dry wit as well. I would estimate it’s about 47 times as funny as Waiting for Guffman, in the realm of movies about bad theater. It’s nearly even as funny as The Producers (the original), which is saying something.

Coogan gets the lion’s share of the laughs in a part written to exploit his talent for conveying repressed hysteria. Unable to face his real traumas, he diverts his frustrations to the numerous petty difficulties in his life, like having to rollerskate to work. (“Gravel,” he moans, “the bane of my existence.”)

But there are also cleverly conceived parts for Catherine Keener as Marschz’s wife, who unleashes her dissatisfactions with her husband by pretending she’s only making drunken jokes; Amy Pohler as a racist and intolerant lawyer who works for the ACLU just because it gives her an excuse to get in people’s faces; and Elisabeth Shue as Elisabeth Shue, a famous actor who retired and became a nurse because she hated Hollywood. (She tells Marschz’s class that the only thing she misses about acting is getting to make out with cute actors: “You don’t get to do that in nursing.”)

Arrive on time, because you won’t want to miss the clips from Marschz’s failed career that open the movie (in which it resembles Tropic Thunder, also featuring Coogan). And don’t leave before the end credits: You’ll get to hear a leftover song, which features the lyric “You’re as gay as the day is long/You’re as gay as Barney Frank’s thong.”