On The Roof

I’m in the middle of a dispute over a bill with a roofing contractor, regarding some add-on expenses that I feel I did not okay and which he is certain I approved. It’s about $1000, and the whole deal may wind up in court. In the meantime, he’s been calling and calling and filling my inbox with emails. I’m no shrinking violet, but I feel like I’m being harassed. One day I was having coffee with a friend of mine who’s a cop, when the guy called my cell phone. I passed the phone to my friend, who identified himself as a policeman, and said “You’d better cool off and stop calling my friend.”

Another friend was horrified when he heard that story, said it was totally unethical of me and our mutual friend to do that, that it was an abuse. Is she right?

—Shingled Out

Dining Out says: I wouldn’t say what you did was abusive. It was more of an old-fashioned warning. Having the law on your side is always pleasant but if you really want to get your point across, ask one of your ruthless lawyer friends to draw up a contract stating the phone calls/emails/letters must cease until you meet in court room.

The Gay Perspective: To begin, add on expenses are an inevitable part of roofing. When getting the preliminary estimates it is always wise to give particular consideration to those that seem most thorough, as opposed to those that simply seem cheap, especially with a tear off. Once you start pulling off shingles, the total story is revealed and it tends to involve rotted wood, corroded metal, squirrel damage, nesting birds, damaged siding, you name it—none of which is necessarily obvious before you begin, and all of which should probably be taken care of. Moreover, in the world of roofing, $1,000 is not a huge add on. You might ask yourself, how much different was the add-on price from other estimates I received, and if it is negligible or actually still less, just pay up and be glad.

That being said, your question was not really about roofing. It was about whether or not it was ethical to have a friend who is a police officer threaten your roofer, after you have failed to pay for the add-on expenses. I take it the additional work is done and the roofer is convinced that you are simply stiffing him on the bill. Since you haven’t specified what the add-on expense was, I can’t venture an opinion on that. Meanwhile, you maintain that you never approved this work in the first place, and never would have. If there is no contract for the additional work, you are at an impasse and this should probably be settled in court.

My question is, had you already told the roofer that you want to go to some sort of legal arbitration at the time of the phone call, or were you simply hoping to bully him into going away? If it is the former, then having your police officer friend, who did indicate that he was only acting in the role of friend, ask the contractor to back off is appropriate. If it is the latter, nobody likes a bully. Either pay up, or go to court.

The Office Romeo

There is a male co-worker of mine who is a notorious womanizer. It is well known around the office, where he has asked every remotely eligible female for a date (as well as, covertly, most of the ineligible ones), that he is a laughingstock and a cad. Whenever he does get a date, he parades her around the office (who asks their dates to meet them at work?), making everybody around cringe with pity for the poor woman, who is sure to undergo any number of indignities before the evening is through. We have never seen any of these dates a second time around. In any case, an acquaintance of mine—a friend of my sister, actually—just started at my office. Of course, he is buzzing around her like a fly on you-know-what, which is to be expected. What is surprising is that she actually seems to enjoy his attention. This is a first. Should somebody warn her about him, or would this be interfering with the course of true love? She seems like a reasonably intelligent person, and as such is undeserving of the ridicule she would bear were she to go out with him for real (they reportedly have a second date already, inexplicable as that may be). How can I tactfully let her know she should steer clear? I feel semi-responsible, having recommended her for the job in the first place.

—Stuck in the Middle

The Gay Perspective: Define “womanizer.” He flirts? Is that it? Or do you actually think this guy would be unfaithful? If so, tell your sister. She can help run interference with her friend. Otherwise, back off. There is someone for everyone.

Please send your questions for our panel of experts to advice@artvoice.com.