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hubby con carne

My husband and I are invited to a potluck dinner at the home of a vegetarian couple. He wants me to make a lasagna with meat in it, because it’s his favorite and because he is afraid there will be only vegetarian dishes at the party and he will feel unfulfilled.

I am afraid that it’s rude to bring meat of any sort into a vegetarian home, and would prefer to bring a vegetarian dish. I’d at least like to ask our hosts if they object to ground beef in their house. But my husband doesn’t want me to ask because he is afraid that they might say “no,” in which case he’ll go away hungry.

There was no mention on the invitation of dietary restrictions, but I’ve been to these parties before (and obviously, so has my poor, meat-deprived husband) and everything on the table has always been vegetarian.

—Swap Meat

The Objective Observer says: Lasagna is a pretty filling meal even if it has no meat in it. Does your husband really think he will walk away hungry after eating a cheese only lasagna? Sounds like he is being a bit childish here....but there might be a way to please him without too much trouble.

If you are familiar with Boca burgers (in the frozen section of your grocery store), you might have noticed they sell a vegetarian “ground beef” called “Ground Crumbles,” made from soy. It even looks like ground beef. You can use it in any way that you would regular ground beef in sauces or chili...etc..

Their products are really good, and that might be a way to please everyone. Your husband will get the feeling he has had his meat lasagna, and you won’t have to worry about offending your hosts.

Ruthless Says: If this couple will go to a restaurant, to the supermarket, or to your home, for instance, then they have been near meat products before. Dead animals offered up for consumption are a fact of life in our society, and far from being a faux-pas at a potluck it could instead be considered generous. I say bring the damn lasagna. I have a recipe that uses four different kinds of meat—delish! Perhaps you’ll get a round of applause from the other carnivores at this party. That having been said, you sound oversolicitous and oversensitive to the point of paranoia, and your husband sounds like a selfish, demanding jerk.

Sure that’s the only advice question you guys have for us?

The Veggie says: It IS rude to bring a meat dish to a potluck without asking your vegetarian hosts. How would you feel if someone brought something you didn’t like into your house? Think about the wrath you’ll face if a vegetarian accidentally eats some of your “lasagna surprise”. Just ask your hosts before hand if it’s ok to bring a meat dish. Who knows, they might not even mind—I suspect not every guest is a vegetarian/vegan.

Also, there is this crazy thing out there called soy and it makes a delicious meat substitute. Why not try that? If your husband is too worried about not being “fulfilled” after eating a free (and probably delicious) meal, maybe he should load up on some irradiated, chemically fed, brutally-slaughtered beef sandwiches before you head over.

The Omnivore says: Bring a vegetarian dish and respect the lifestyle your friends have chosen. Tell your husband if he behaves himself you will get him a KFC “Double Down” on the way home.

Ask Anyone is local advice for locals with problems. Please send your questions for our panel of experts to advice@artvoice.com.

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