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Hey, You Never Know!

Ford Flex

The 2010 lottery-winning YAK dream garage

I had nothing to do on this hot afternoon but to settle down and write you a…”

No, not a line. That was Rod Stewart. And what the hell was he doing in Minnesota anyway? What I want to write you is something I haven’t updated in almost five years now: my list of what I’d fill my garage with if I won the lottery. Last time around it was more of a nostalgic garage, full of classics and cars I once owned and wished I’d kept.

But now I’m older. And that 15-year-old Buick in the driveway has finally convinced me that I don’t really think I want a whole garage full of old stuff in constant need of repair. So this time around we’re going new. New with a catch, though. Some of these thing might not be available in the US, but hey, I’m a gazillionaire and I’ll make it work.

Citroen C6
Tesla Roadster Sport

First off, let’s head over to France and pick up something sleek and luxurious for those long road trips. A black Citroën C6 would be just the ticket. If you’ve never seen or heard of a C6, it’s a modern version of the venerable old DS—maybe not quite as odd-looking from a styling standpoint, but still guaranteed to get you noticed. And get this: the interior is trimmed in “Mokunto” wood (their quotation marks, not mine). I don’t know what that is, or if it’s even a real wood, but it sure sounds exotic. Many French dignitaries have themselves chauffeured around in these things, but not me. I’m not wasting good lottery money having someone do for me what I love to do for myself. If I’m buying my C6 in the UK, the on-the-road price is around £35,000.

I haven’t forgotten the wife here. She’s been lusting after a Mini Cooper since they came out, and I’ll be more than happy to oblige her on that one. But just lately she’s also been singing the praises of the Ford Flex. Maybe it’s the fact that it looks big enough to throw the Mini in the back and carry it around as a spare. I’m easy, and I’m writing checks like there’s no tomorrow—so it’s one of each, as long as they both have white tops.

Seeing that summers in Western New York are made for convertible driving, I’d be remiss if I didn’t have at least one in my garage. This is a tough decision. Just because I’ve won the lottery doesn’t mean I’m a greedy jerk. I’m torn between a Mazda MX-5, a Mustang, and an Audi A5. The Mazda tops my “I’ve always wanted one” list; buying the Mustang just seems like the right thing to do, being American and all; but the Audi is probably the best-looking convertible on the market. And no, just because I can, I won’t buy all three. I think just for nostalgia’s sake, the Mustang’s the winner here.

I guess I’d have to indulge myself one, ridiculously expensive purchase. But, being the sensible type, I’ll pass on the Ferraris, Corvettes, Bentleys, and all the other impractical cars one with an unlimited budget could buy. I’ll plunk down my hundred grand or so on a Tesla roadster. The all-electric car which I tested a few weeks back is just the thing for driving around town using no gas and spewing no emissions. Come to think of it, the Tesla also fills the bill for my convertible needs, which means there’s still a few grand left in the budget. Just enough for an old Ford Country Squire station wagon. Hey, gimme a break, I’m a geezer and will still need a geezermobile when my beloved Buick Century woodie gives up the ghost someday. Old cars die easy, but old habits die hard. Looks like my mechanic may have won the lottery, too!

Read “You Auto Know” every other week in Artvoice and more often on AV Daily at Plus check out Jim’s bolog:

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