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Week in Review
The Week's Winners and Losers
by Zachary Burns
Scorecard: The Week's Winners & Losers
 Distracted Drivers State Police reported on Jan. 27 that the trucker involved in a deadly crash with a Snyder mother last month was not only sleep deprived but also distracted by the porno he was watching on his laptop. Words can barely describe the WTF-ness. |
 Publicity StuntsThe nutty animal rights organization PETA offered on Jan. 25 to help pay for repairs to the Peace Bridge in exchange for renaming it the “Peace On Your Plate” Bridge. PETA would be pretty sorry if they actually knew what it would cost to get that thing up to code. |
 Holy Communion Thanks to the waning of the flu crisis, Bishop Edward Kumiec of the Buffalo Diocese informed pastors on Jan. 22 that Catholics can resume their ritual of drinking the symbolic blood of a 2,000-year-old zombie from a cup. Bottoms up! |
 CarpetbaggersProving yet again that just about any rich person with political aspirations (RFK, Hillary Clinton) can move to New York and — for now — contemplate a run for Senator, Harold Ford a Democrat from Tennessee visited Buffalo Jan. 24 to learn about upstate issues. |
 Dubious DefensesMuzzammil Hassan, the Orchard Park man accused of beheading his wife last February, abruptly changed his defense on Jan. 22 from extreme emotional disturbance to claiming he was a “battered spouse”. Somewhere in a jail cell far away, O.J. is smiling. |
By the numbers...
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10
Years in prison David Call Sr. of Buffalo was sentenced to on Jan. 25 for his attack against a bar patron with a two-foot ceremonial sword last July. The dispute arose over a woman (of course) and resulted in the victim losing his nose. |
7
Number of Buffalo schools that were listed among the “persistently lowest achieving” in the state according to a Jan. 21 report from state education commissioner David Steiner. The 57 schools on the list are now eligible for $500,000 each in federal stimulus funds if they institute reforms. Buffalo schools on the list included Martin Luther King Multicultural Institute, International School 45, Bennett, Burgard, Lafayette, Riverside and South Park. |
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5:55
Minutes elapsed before someone cried on the Jan. 24 airing of ABC’s “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition”. Over 2,000 people, including remodeld homeowner Delores Powell, gathered at Shea’s for a live viewing of the show, which featured the remodeling of a home on Massachusetts Ave. on Buffalo’s West Side. |
Reader Comments (posting new comments is closed!)
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wild eyed sue 29 Jan 2010, 21:43
Ditto Pat. The board game should be mass produced. I know that I would buy a thousands and pass them out as Christmas gifts. Collins is Scrooge incarnated. Everyone knows this but he.
Capt. Obvious 01 Feb 2010, 14:16
This week's loser: Zachary Burns, for misspelling 'Kmiec.' Do some basic journalistic research if you're going to attempt to bash someone's religion. By The Numbers: 0.36. The amount of seconds it takes to google the correct spelling of Kmiec. Fail. |
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