Chocolate Fever

Just months after a federal discrimination case brought by black firefighters, a NY judge ruled on Oct. 29 that 13 white Buffalo firemen were treated unfairly when their scores on a promotion exam were voided due to poor minority performance. Apparently the only thing unbiased about this test is its ability to piss people off.

"Patriotic" Pat Downs

Beginning Oct. 29, TSA screeners at Buffalo/Niagara Airport presented travelers with one of two undesirable options: pass through a backscatter scanner—which is capable of imaging the body naked—or submit to an “enhanced pat down” of the genital region. I think at this point we can officiallly say, the terrorists have “won”.

Shrinkage

Despite numerous efforts—which included placing the vote itself on the back of the ballot—by the elected officials whose jobs were in jeopardy, 83% of voters approved a proposition on Nov. 2 to downsize the Erie County Legislature from 15 to 11 members. We’re talking about some significant shrinkage here.

Tired Clichés

We know a lot of WNYers out there are feeling pretty unenthused about Andrew Cuomo’s Nov. 2 victory in the race for governor, but take solace in at least one thing: now the rest of the country can go back to ridiculing us for just our snow and miserable sports franchises. Order has been restored to the universe.

The Blight Acquatic

We’re all for the building of a “world class” aquarium on the waterfront as proposed in an exploratory resolution by Buffalo Common Council member Bonnie Russell on Nov. 3. But maybe we should pause before going all in on a Great Lakes-themed project. Are zebra mussels and fish tumors a big draw with the tourists?

Estimated number of sheep and goats that escaped under cover of night from a Lackawanna slaughterhouse on Nov. 2. Police who arrived at the scene of the Lackawanna Halal Market found dozens of animals roaming along Ridge Road and were able to herd them back under control. The cause of the escape is yet to be determined.