By Frank Parlato
According to a source familiar with his diet, Keith Raniere, formerly known as The Vanguard and now known as Federal Prisoner 57005-177, has begun eating meat. With his new diet, Raniere is getting more than three times the calories of DOS slaves. Then again, he is their grandmaster.
His jail is filthy and inhuman – but so was his sex lair. Ask Kathy Russell whose duties included cleaning it up after Raniere’s frequent sexcapades with members of his sex-slaver cult.
The medical care is also very low quality at MDC. But then again, Raniere can probably take care of his own medical needs since he previously oversaw the medical care of Pam Cafritz, Barbara Jeske, Nancy Salzmanand several other cult members. Oops…I meant the late-Pam Cafritz and the late-Barbara Jeske.
You have to stay healthy when you’re MDC. You do not get sunlight so you’re missing some essential health needs. Being there is cruel and unusual punishment. It is rather a penance.
But the “good news” is that Raniere has a fair share of rice and potatoes, something he frequently denied his slaves. He preferred them to eat low or zero calorie Miracle [squash] noodles.
Although Raniere liked to keep his DOS slaves on low protein vegetarian diets – he needs to keep up his strength by eating meat. Only occasionally at MDC do they serve hard-boiled egg and rarely cheese. One meal per week features a chicken leg. Baked. Crisped up in the oven. Another meal includes a 3-ounce hamburger floating in grease.
Breakfast on Sunday: Served at 7:00 AM – which is well after Raniere awakens from his usual 2-hours of overnight sleep – is often chocolate -covered donuts and cartons of milk. Prisoners have more calories in one morning than a DOS slave in two days.
The other day, Vanguard was served two slices of a pressed ham-type product with two slices of bread. But he had all the mustard and mayonnaise he could eat. Another day, it was steamed tacos with beans and rice (Inside the flour tortilla was a meat not discernible as to the animal from which it came).
For breakfast recently, he had a frozen egg concoction with cheese and a hint of milk. It was rubbery in texture but had protein. It was called an omelet.
Macaroni came tepid, mixed in a salty meat with cheese sauce. Before he was incarcerated, Keith loved mac-and-cheese and would eat it with hot sauce at midnight. One person dubbed him and his co-defendant [Allison] “Mack and the Big Cheese.”
Respectful persons, of course, called him Vanguard and her Pimp Mack or Madam Mack.
Salad is available at most dinners for roughage in prison. It is the main food for DOS slaves.
Rice is usually served 3-4 nights a week. You can get a lot of rice. Some prisoners get 500 calories in rice in a single day.
According to our sources, Keith is now able to buy from the prison Commissary. Mackerel and Tuna out of packets are a great way to get protein. They run $1.20 per packet – and they are also used as currency in prison. At the Commissar,y he can buy tortillas, Ramen noodles, Kosher and and Halal foods, candy, and salty snacks.
There is no wealth advantage because even if you’re an ex-Vanguard cult leader, you can still only spend up to $320 per month on your Commissary account. So Clare’s wealth can help him to a point. But then again, food in prison magically appears for him. Monday-Friday 6:30 AM, 11:30 AM, and 5:00 PM (On weekends, breakfast is a half-hour later).
Greeting Cards are available for $1.30 at the Commissary. Happy Birthday, Birthday Wishes, Timeless Love, Perfect Love – these are some of the cards he can purchase at the Commissary and send in lieu of his physical presence. Unfortunately, as of right now, there are no “To My Favorite Slave” cards.
Keith used to have sex with women on their birthdays. Sometimes – as in the case of his aging harem women – he would only service them on their birthdays and, of course, they could not be with any other man the rest of the year.
It was tough on him when more than one aging harem woman had a birthday on the same day. So much old – when what he really needed was a couple of young fuck-toy life-slaves to rev him up sexually.
He can now buy Litpon tea at the Commissary.
At the Commissary, he can buy computer time and pay for phone calls, but because those charges are also debited against his total $320 monthly allotment for Commissary, he has to be frugal. Just because you are Cruella Bronfman, you cannot buy the prison Commissary. Eating is hard and cruel at MDC. But DOS was harder.
It should make Raniere a bad-ass warrior bastard in no time.
Here are a couple of his recent meals:
Mini Biscuits (2)
Two packers of jelly.
A pat of Margarine.
A morsel of canned fruit with watery syrup and a watery beverage to wash it down.
A meat-soy blend.
Pale Green Beans
Brownish water-style gravy
One picture speaks 1,000 calories.
Also includes milk [not shown].
Keith Raniere has said, “When we smile, the world smiles with us: each experience of joy is an experience of joy for all people and a victory for human kind.”
So how about when we laugh?
Keith Raniere has said, “Humans can be noble. The question is: Will we put forth what is necessary?”
“Any ideology or thoughts of a better world are just fiction until they are actualized”- Keith Raniere.
It has been. actualized. A jury will decide for how long.
Farewell has a sweet sound of reluctance. Goodbye is short and final.
Keith Raniere has written, “Responsibility entrusted to us by a thousand, thousand future generations – our messages will persist, with their effects, long after we are gone.”
One of history’s worst criminals, Raniere’s effect on many women will take a long time to heal.
Will Keith get breakfast in bed in prison? No . But he never had breakfast in bed. He had dinner in bed. Because he slept all day.
Keith Raniere has written, “Data enclaves on one hand preserved humanity’s ability to ultimately find truth through independent accounts of data later to become history. On the other hand, they limited potentially important data from affecting the rest of the world.”
Yeah, yeah, that’s fine Keith, but how’s the meatloaf? .
Some find his present situation kind of hairy.
“He who has the most joy wins,” says Keith Raniere.
Said the rest of us, “He who laughs last, laughs best.”
.And thank God, we found the good in goodbye.