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Ex-NXIVM: Keith’s behavior is filled with contradiction. It wasn’t till recently that I grasped this

[Editor’s note: An anonymous reader made this comment. The person may or may not be a former NXIVM member, but either way, it rings true to me.]

By Ex-NXIVM Member

NXIVM was about creating an ethical, just world, but the means it justified doing that did not conform to ethical standards.

It used money and power to intimidate and harm others. It was OK to distort the facts, sue people into submission and use the fortune of the Bronfman’s to gain favor with the NYS Attorney General and New York State Police.

The question for me is: how did I get there? What part of me was attracted to this? On the most basic level, I knew nothing about those particular events but perhaps I was attracted to the air of superiority that “we knew best and could save the world?” Furthermore, is there a part of me that is a sociopath, a liar, a thief? I wasn’t totally innocent. I couldn’t have gotten myself into this unless some part of me was attracted to this. The person I was attracted to most was found to have over 500 K in cash hidden in her home. What does that say? That’s not exactly the actions of someone who is really committed to changing the world, rather it’s the behavior of someone who has an escape plan from society. And, I had thought she was cute!

The reality is I detest myself for my own behaviors and I can’t blame that on NXIVM; they were in me before I got to NXIVM. It’s not pleasant even to admit this anonymously but there is no other way to get beyond it – this grotesque behavior – unless one comes to terms with it.


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Frank Parlato

Frank Parlato

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  • Ex NXIVM members have posted comments without really giving much away. What bad and unethical things did you people actually know about? Tax evasion? Money laundering? The harem? What bad things were you involved with? Financial crimes of some sort? Recruiting women for Raniere to fuck?

  • A lot depends on how long you knew about such activities and once you knew they weren’t ethical did you stay?
    Did you personally participate in nefarious activities once you knew the truth?
    Did you knowingly assist in the harm to another?
    If so are you knowingly accepting responsibility for you actions and making amends?

    • This is the best of all possible advice from Scott. You’ve faced your dilemma and now you’ll be looking to explain what happened. You can only go so far on your own with this, for your balance of mind, to restore justice to your life, you need to explain to those adversely affected all you know. because you are straight enough to understand your part in this, your intelligence will be respected and will be highly useful in ensuring that justice is served proportionately, the law will serve and protect you, if you are prepared to serve and protect it. Its almost impossible NOT to forgive someone who is truly remorseful. And almost impossible to forgive someone who is not.

    • hehe two old hands give sound advice and a whiney NEXIUM fan has a tantrum? troll on kid your days are numbered

  • of course you would you POS. Only to serve your PRURIENT INTEREST. Go get your dimunitve rocks off some other way

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