Keith used problem-solving ability to solve flaccid challenge

Warning: Salacious material in this post. Do not read further if you are squeamish.

Guest View by Hot Sauce and Pizza, Pussy sans Garlic

Regardless of Keith’s limp dick status, he used his problem solving abilities to remedy that situation.

According to Frank Parlato, when Keith was presented with the problem of a flaccid dick inhibiting his ability to engage in coitus, he quickly invented a new ‘tech’ to fix the issue.

According to Frank, this new tech is called the ‘tune up’ and it goes something like this…

a) Keith eats a woman’s pussy using his filthy tongue and bad breath, while forgoing full coitus.

b) Said woman pretends to orgasm for Keith.

c) Keith then positions himself over the woman’s chest and proceeds to use high speed masturbation to spew his boy-batter on said woman’s titties, where he apparently struggles to spew out his man-milk from that ancient, flaccid and semi-dormant volcano.

Fortunately for the prosecution, this new ‘tech’ amounts to sexual assault just as much as full coitus does.

I’m just glad these poor women didn’t have to taste his boy-batter. Keith’s diet is foul and I have no doubt that his rotten tasting semen would make any woman retch their guts out.

Still you gotta give props to Keith for inventing this new ‘tech’. Like the old saying goes, necessity is the mother of invention.

About the author

Frank Parlato


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  • Frank uh?!?!?!? Why do you let tool bags write articles on your site? If you really hit a million hits on your site…when trial heats up your website hit will explode. Eventually things will die down after the trial and sentencing. You should be sticking with what you have been doing adding other current topics slowly so eventually you can migrate the site. You should leave us Knuckle heads to making remarks in the comment section; in addition, not let perverts write full articles and publish them like Mr pizza above.

  • Please! No! Keith should get his money back from the photographer who took this photo. He looks like an elf on a shelf. Too much gray in a minimal setting. It looks like he is an installation in an art museum.

  • Did little Keithy shoot his load on Kristin Kreuk? Her boobies are very small, but Allison Mack is ugly and he still fucked her. Pea Onyu said he ravished Kreuk.

  • Damn! There I was, expecting the new “tech” to involve two matchsticks and a rubber band.

  • WTF, Frank is hard up for stories. This story is close to pron. That should be the warning.

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