Nancy Salzman teaching students in class.

Partner of longtime Nxivm member describes despair of spouse caught in Nxivm web of deceit

By a Nxivm Spouse
My partner was in NXIVM for many years, thanks to a certain [redacted] enrolling her.
Basically, he wore her down.  I knew right from the start that this company was a money making pyramid-type scheme.  I also knew, due to my various qualifications and studies, that there was absolutely nothing new about the organization.
Everything has been taken from elsewhere, and I went to great pains to explain this to my partner.  She was love-bombed and felt it was the cure-all for every little insecurity and that it would enhance her earning abilities.
Also she very much liked the community and a lot of them were good people who were hoodwinked.
The cost of all the intensives is staggering and a huge amount of money went into her trying to get up the ‘Stripe Path’ in order to become a coach, proctor etc.
I truly believed it to be a total waste of money and a couple of books could have helped just as much, if not more so.
The whole affair almost ended our relationship and only my tenacity in trying to keep my relationship going stopped us from splitting up.  I was labelled a ‘suppressive’, of course.
I did a short intensive myself, as I was sick of my partner saying, “But you don’t know as you haven’t been”.
The intensive was total rubbish and although I came away feeling that it was a total waste of money, it didn’t stop my wife from continuing.
My wife turned into a different person, and not for the better.  She was so obviously being totally manipulated.  She spoke in a different language and questioned everything I said.  Gaslighting in the extreme, word salad etc. etc.
I am so very happy that eventually this ‘house of cards’ fell, and as far as I’m concerned Raniere can rot in hell for what he did to people.  I just wish it hadn’t taken so long and cost people so much money.  Perhaps there will be a civil suit so those who got so caught up can get some of their hard-earned money back.
[Editor’s note: There is a civil lawsuit ongoing for those who were cheated by misleading advertisements and false claims about Raniere. It is not too late to join in. The attorney handling the case is Omar Rosales, a former student of Nxivm. He also wrote the first book about Nxivm – “Nxivm, An American Cult”. Contact Rosales at:  
Omar W. Rosales
Attorney-at-Law, Certified Mediator
Texas Bar College 6-year Member
ABA Class Action & Derivative Suit Committee
Licensed in New York & Texas

11 Broadway, Suite 615
New York, NY 10004
(646) 405-6369 Tel
(646) 851-2271 Fax
Attorney Omar Rosales represents Nxivm students in a class action in New York State.

About the author

Frank Parlato


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Leave a Reply to shadowstate1958 Cancel reply

  • Surely, there are individuals not entitled to getting money back. Kristin Kreuk and Mark Hildreth as an example. They both were named in a anti-NXIVM lawsuit all the way back in 2012 at the same time Kreuk was named as a member of NXIVM in the expose that revealed Keith Raniere was a pedophile.

    If you knew even a rumor but stayed on, that is your own fault.

    By all means, take all that money off NXIVM and it’s enablers and donate it to a good cause such as animal shelters, wounded veterans etc.

    Also, what about those who made huge amounts of money from NXIVM? Barbara Bouchey said Sarah Edmondson made $30,000 a month with this bullshit. That is a ton of money. She knew she was in a cult and she must of known something about financial crimes. She should hand all that money back. She chose to stay on for years through all the controversies. And now she gets to walk away with all that cash? How much money in total did she make from NXIVM? She should go get a real job and earn honest money, not money she cheated out of other stupid people. There are a ton of good causes for that money to be donated to.

  • “I was labelled a ‘suppressive”

    Nicki Clyne, writing as Pea Onyu, told me I had too many “disintegrations” to join NXIVM.
    Not that I wanted to.

    ” She was love-bombed ”

    The key part of the word Love-Bombed” is bombed.
    Recently, I had a conversation with an acquaintance who told me, “Shadow, you’re a genius! You must be a college professor.”
    Actually my father and late uncle were college professors.
    But my parents taught me to beware of people love bombing me
    Once I discovered the acquaintance’s angle, I kicked him to the curb.
    Basically he lost his money “investing” in a Nigerian money scam, his internet ‘girlfriend’ cleaned out his bank account and he needed money from me.

    More women at NXIVM should have kicked Keith, Clare, Nancy, Lauren and Allison to the curb.

  • It’s very interesting hearing from a spouse of a member. Great you held on to your relationship and got through this. I have so many nosey questions but I won’t be intrusive and ask! I will just say I hope you are both happy and well!

  • Thanks, Spouse. Must have been an insufferable existence. Happy you and your wife are still alive, together and NX-free.

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