This is Part 6 of the Keith and Cami Texts.
The year is 2015. Raniere is 54-55. Cami is 24-25.
He is your Vanguard.
February 7, 8:52 p.m.
Keith is bruised. He is suffering. Sometime in the past, Cami had sex with Robbie. Although Keith has had sex with literally dozens of women, he cannot easily take the pain of Cami having been with another man. Worse, Cami is not able to realize the extent of the damage she has done to him.
KEITH: I refuse. Good-bye, that’s just too prideful, untrue and entitled.
CAMI: This is what you just presented. How many options are you leaving me?
KEITH: You are the abuser. If there is such a thing as unfair, you are taking and destroying it.
CAMI: I could argue that, but it is not that important right now.
KEITH: Return everything you destroyed. Feel the same pain as me. You can keep all of the other benefits [of knowing him and learning from him] and we will call it starting to be fair. You can’t really argue that. You’re wrong.
CAMI: I only have one option. I seriously feel like you are going to hunt me down and make my life a living hell if I don’t choose what you want.
KEITH: I can see you at around 9:30, for sex, for a reason. You need to not be prideful and lovingly satisfy me. Let’s see if you can.
CAMI: No, no, no. I don’t mean to say that it is fair based on what I did to you. I did something awful to you [Had sex with Robbie]. That is not fair. You’re left at a disadvantage in that regard. What I am saying is not fair is your position in the organization [leader of Nxivm] and your power versus mine. You have already said that there will be lots of shit. I don’t want to have sex like that. That seems awful. Well, we’ll see if I can satisfy you.
KEITH: I earned my power and earned it by using it justly. There is nothing unfair about our relative positions. You give me nothing. I give you much because of those relative positions. You had one thing you gave me to hold all of the benefits [not having sex with any other man]. You gave that away [had sex with Robbie] … By rights, you should not ever have had the benefits.
February 8, 2:04 a.m.
[This is one of the best and truest things Cami ever wrote to Keith.]
CAMI: By the way, I never wanted you to correct me. That’s one of the things that anger me. That because you know more than you think, you have the authority to correct me, whether I asked for help or not.
It angers me that you think everything right and cause me no pain in our years together. I felt jerked around most of the time.
It angers me that you did not uphold what I thought you claimed. I remember being in awe of you for being willing to step down for someone else if I loved them.
I’m angry that you disguised things as logical and righteous when sometimes they are just emotional and human.
I’m angry that you crippled me for so many years and now use that handicap against me.
I am angry that you made me believe in fairy tales and the blueprints when it is all a lie.
I am angry that you moved your entire life and planned my life without my consent, and that all those things were your choice, but blame me for them when I didn’t even know what you were doing.
I’m angry that because of you, I have no close relationships because I always had to lie to them about this other part of my life. I am angry that because of you I am such a good liar.
I am angry that because of you I started my bulimia and I am angry that for so long you completely ignored it when I desperately needed help.
I’m angry you now use it against me.
I am angry at you because I always felt I wasn’t good enough because I couldn’t understand why you needed to be with other women and not just be with me.
I am angry I lost so many years of common learning experiences because of you.
I am angry at you because you couldn’t see how being with me at such a young age was probably taking away from my life and opportunities.
And I am just plain sad to learn that love is not that poetic something that is so deep and indescribable but, in fact, a trade.
For so many years I forgot about the darkness. I thought the world was bright and beautiful and I’m angry that in the last few months I’ve contemplated suicide countless times and everything is done.
Naturally, the great Vanguard responded.
KEITH: I took great pains to legitimize our relationship from the start. I asked permission from both your sisters [to have sex with Cami when she was child]. I kept on asking you why you turned out different from them, etc. [when she was 15.]
From this, I gained a type of earned authority. When Hoyboy [Robbie?] happened, we spoke at length about the nature of consequences and extra time which needed to be added on, etc. I told you about Toni Natalie and how I took on a great weight to rehabilitate her [broken] word, etc. I told her it would be about seven years to do [fix] this. I told you the same, but I told you I would build a life so that when the test came, if you passed it, we would be free of my life responsibilities that stood in our way. [then they could be together].There was a lot more to this.
When I saw the morality results from V [Vanguard] Week, I was shocked. You had a preconventional outlook. If I really did start with you too young, [he started having sex with her when she was 15 and he was 45] I lose all authority on which our whole relationship was based and my definition of love and my belief in women. Everyone had betrayed me except you and your sister [Mariana] and beauty, etc.
If my authority rests on this fault, I can’t use it. Beside all the penance activity I’ve already started, here’s the irony. If you had dropped your pride at any moment, at any point, and listened to me, I could have rehabilitated everything. If you didn’t listen to me, things will go as they do and you will not get enough pain to match my pain and thereby never be aware of what you do and not build a big enough conscience.
I hoped if you just you surrendered your pride, this hell would end. That was true. But I can’t lie. You now have a reason to keep your pride. Pride doesn’t go away by itself. Only through both extreme pain and humiliation. But your pride has won. It owns me.
I can’t argue that point if it’s true. I no longer have the authority to help. Both of us are now subject to your pride as king. I need to be king to fix this and defeat your pride. I can still demand certain exchanges, but I can no longer help you. The base of my ascension to a trusted fake authority to guide us has been destroyed by this fact.
I took every precaution I could, but your belief says I failed. To get rid of your pride, you must view me as infallible in this area.
February 10, 3:40 p.m.
Cami cuts her hair and Keith is deeply affected.
KEITH: Did you keep the hair [that you cut]? They’re supposed to be mine.
CAMI: I know. I didn’t think of that until after. I didn’t. I’m so sorry.
KEITH: How did you fix? How much did you trim? Where?
CAMI: Just the long parts that were pulling on me.
KEITH: How do you make this up to me? There is the issue of your hair, but there are two more important issues; your word you wouldn’t [cut your hair], also that you didn’t think of me and save it. How can you experience enough pain so it matches mine [for her cutting her hair] plus some [more pain] and you wouldn’t do that class of transgressions ever again?
February 12, 3:30 p.m.
About Camilla dying her hair
CAMI: I’m trying to do what’s right here.
KEITH: Not true. If I were coaching someone and heard this, it would be chilling.
CAMI: You really want me to be that horrible person you made up in your mind. You are wrong.
CAMI: Yeah, you can say that to anything anyone says and it is very powerful with little back-up, like saying something is evil or a cult.
KEITH: Please move out [of the condo he is renting for her]. Sadly, I’m correct.
CAMI: Please don’t assume anything in my tongue. I’m trying to do the right thing.
KEITH: No, you are very far away from that. I believe that it is beyond you.
CAMI: I can and will move out, but I don’t want you to think that I am bad, scary, or anything you are thinking I am.
KEITH: Move out.
CAMI: [I am] Immature, maybe. No, definitely immature.
KEITH: No, and I need to act accordingly. Immature do not do these things. [She’s not immature she is suppressive]
CAMI: Since when do you lose hope in people?
KEITH: When they damage too much and demonstrate they won’t change, can’t change or too prideful to change. I am responsible to many others [as leader of Nxivm].
CAMI: What are you doing? What am I missing? This seems to be the worst thing you can do to a human being to pass a verdict such as this, especially when you are wrong, especially when there was hope.
KEITH: This is the hardest and harshest thing for me to do. It is the last ethical resort. I’m not wrong about my verdict with respect to my process. This is what counts. My process may be imperfect, but the mistakes are outweighed by the right thing to do. If I were wrong about you, you would be saying and doing far different things. It seems everything you are doing is supporting this verdict, not saying something is one of those things.
CAMI: I am researching methods.
KEITH: Methods of?
CAMI: To die. Of what you say is true and there is no hope, then there is no point for me to be around. I can’t put others in danger.
KEITH: More of the same response; you’d rather die than do the right things or break your pride. Breaking your pride at this point would be assuming you are wrong completely
We jump a few months ahead to June. Keith has been pushing Cami to make a commitment to lifetime slavery to him in return for her being his number one woman. He also wants collateral to ensure that she remains his slave forever. He was to implement this same formula with other women as he created DOS. In this respect, he designed DOS around Cami.
June 12, 10:48 p.m.
CAMI: …. can I ask your permission for something? Can I shave the kitty? [pubic hair] I’d save whatever I take off for you.
July 8, 9:13 a.m.
KEITH: Finish the vow [of lifetime slavery -Keith wants it in writing].
CAMI: … I thought I had already taken the vow.
KEITH: … Finish it formally with collateral.
KEITH: Do I get to put a permanent ankle bracelet on you or something? [to symbolize the chains of the slave] I’m sorry to ask this, did R [Robbie] poke the opening of your vagina with his penis?
July 16, 6:46 p.m.
KEITH: Fluffy believes you slept in the same bed with Robbie last summer. I think with his door closed.
July 30, 5:49 p.m.
KEITH: When shall we do the collateral and formalize the vow?
CAMI: Whenever you want.
KEITH: Can you resend me copy of the vow?
This is an email from Cami to Keith. The subject line is “Breach of Vow.”
On July 2015, I, Camila, took a vow of love, loyalty and obedience with Keith A. Raniere. The following are the terms of a breach:
I, Camila, on this 8th day of August 2015, being of sound mental health and possessed of full mental capacity, hereby declare this document and all its contents and provisions to be my terms and consequences for any breach in my vow.
I declare the sole executor of these terms and consequences to be Daniela Padilla, whose relationship to me is that of mentor. I authorize this executor, upon the event of my breach of vow to manage all of my finances, accounts, properties and assets of every nature to fulfill the terms. I hereby empower the executor to:
1. I will resign my employment as MDS at Rainbow Cultural Garden. I hereby authorize the delivery of the enclosed letter of resignation.
2. I authorize that the executor will deliver the enclosed letter addressed to Gaelyn M. Keeffe.
3. Claim any and all property that belongs to me, including all clothing items, two computers, one hard drive, treadmill, bike, passport, e-mail accounts.
4. Repossess of any items present and future that would sum of the total value of 1 million US dollars.
This may include items belonging to me, Camila, or any future earnings, inheritance, real estate or items considered of value.
I. Camila, hereby declare this to be my true and complete terms and consequences, signed in the presence of three witnesses, and notary public listed beneath my signature.
August 12, 6:16 p.m.
KEITH: I was very moved by your collateral. I’m still thinking about it….
CAMI: It just needs to be signed, witnessed and notarized and then we can consummate our vows (well, my vow to you.)
Cami wrote this email to Keith increasing her collateral. The subject line was “Collateral Family.”
In case of breach of vow, I, Camila, hereby authorize the executor of all enclosed documents, Daniela Padilla, to copy-paste the following text onto Facebook or through e-mail to family members.
Mi Papa Hector es gay.
He is Your Vanguard.