pony up?

I’m not a gambler, but I gave a friend of mine a little money to pick some horses for me in the Kentucky Derby. He gave me the tickets, and I won a lot. Let’s say well over a thousand dollars. He bought tickets for a lot of people, and I don’t know if he’s aware how profitable his specific race picks were for me. I know someone else who gave him some money to bet the race, but that person didn’t win a dime. Do I tell him, and offer him some of the loot, or do I just let it ride? What if I tell him and he says he wants half? As I say, I don’t really gamble, and don’t know the etiquette.

—Just My Luck

Strictly Classified says: So you’re concerned about etiquette, when most of these animals end up as dog food or glue after a few years? Maybe you should donate the proceeds to an equine rescue facility in your friend’s name.

The Back Room says: Is this the type of character who likes to carry around a baseball bat during the off season? Do the words “knee caps” come up in regular conversation with him? If this guy is more friend than bookie then I would say the money is yours, but since he did make the picks for you, the least you could do is take him out for dinner and drinks on you. Maybe offer him a smaller percentage of it. Seems like your friend has a pretty good thing going for him though if he has multiple people just giving him money to bet on horses. If he is collecting half of everybody’s winnings then, well he probably doesn’t even have to wager any of his own money.

The Practical Cogitator says: Let it ride, baby.

The Sales Guy Says: If he picked the horses for you, take him out to dinner, or throw the guy a little cash or something.Its only right...

The Straight Skinny says: You should stop betting on the Kentucky Derby. If you need reminding why, perhaps you’d like to think back on 2008, when Eight Belles finished second and then collapsed with two broken ankles. And was euthanized, right there. Or maybe 2006, when Derby winner Barbaro raced in the Preakness, broke three ankle bones, and was euthanized several months later. Perhaps you’d like to think about the fact that not tens but HUNDREDS of horses die every single year, on tracks, so that humans can wager on them.

People like to talk about how these horses love to run, but I’ve got news for you: No animal wants to run herself to death, especially not while people are cheering.

So send $999 to the SPCA, and then take the last dollar and buy a lottery ticket, if you’re so intent on a windfall.

The Tipster says: Your first big win, huh? Oh, yeah. I remember mine. My neighbor was a bookmaker and I placed a wager in a baby race. Both me and the jockey broke maiden on that one. Granted, I placed the bet both ways double, without much exposure, but it was a thrill watching that Filly pull to the fence at the head of the stretch and win. I hedged on another horse that hung, but I later came to learn he was a morning glory, so it was no wonder.

I’d keep the money. As long as you don’t tilt, go hang out by the paddock and punt a couple nickels on some choice permutations. Sometime I’ll have to tell you about the time I hit the Quiniela at Aqueduct with all the money I’d been saving to pay back rent. That was a thick ‘un. Sweating bullets, I was. Plus, I knew the one was a short runner, but also a mudder, and the weather stick on my house made it look like it was going to be a sloppy track.

Or, if you want, you could give me the money and I’ll bet it for you.

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