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Ask Anyone

optimal decoupling

Where’s the best place in the city to break up with someone, and why?

—Meet Me in St. Louis

Ruthless says: Unless you go there all the time, if your significant other suggests a stroll in the cemetery one day, you should consider yourself done for.

Likewise with trips to the park, the waterfront, or spontaneous walks of any kind. Perhaps this doesn’t hold true for all couples, especially if you’re the “outdoorsy” types, but seriously, it’s February in Buffalo, windchill of negative eight. And even if it is bright and sunny and warm, it’s never good to hear the words “Let’s go someplace outside where we can talk.”

By Design says: The waiting room at Planned Parenthood. Needs no further explanation.

The Sales Guy says: Not that I’ve utilized this excellent breakup arena for the purpose personally, you understand, but for the downtown crowd it’s no secret that the back booth at K.Gallagher’s s the place to give your significant other stheir walking papers.

The booth is dimly lit, which I feel is the proper lighting for the rather somber occasion. The perky and accommodating proprietor, Wende, given enough notice, will supply a red rose and a box of tissues, as well as hold the booth for the event.

Please don’t misunderstand—don’t pigeonhole this downtown gem just for a breakup. The food is great, it’s known for its lively political banter, and is an all-around fun place.

Well, except for the occasional sobbing emanating from the back booth.

need help fast!

I need some real aphrodisiacs, pronto. What works?


By Design says: Hannah Montana: Season 1 on DVD.

Ruthless says: Aphrodisiacs?

Stick with the tried and true: A bottle of tequila will surely do! (Or two…)

The Straight Skinny says: It’s often said that the greatest aphrodisiac is power, but I feel the saying is usually misunderstood. It’s not temporal power that turns me on—it’s electrical power.

As in the plug in the wall that charges the batteries. Know what I mean?

is it romantic?

Is Valentine’s Day a real holiday or is this just another way to sell people things they don’t need? I kind of think it’s the latter, but maybe there’s some history I don’t know about.

—The People Want to Know!

Dr. Sigmund Fraud says: Valentine’s Day falls on the Roman holiday of Lupercalia, a fertility festival tied to the coming of spring. In 498, Pope Gelasius made it an official holiday. Legend has it that the original “Valentine” made his fame by marrying young Romans who were in love, but forbidden to marry due to a decree from Emperor Claudius. Claudius wanted young men to remain focused on military conquest. He was eventually thrown in prison for performing his illegal ceremonies, and while there he is said to have fallen in love with the jailer’s daughter. He wrote her a love note, signed: “From your Valentine.”

I’ve been telling that story to women for years over drinks, with varying degrees of embellishment to suit the tastes of my companions. By the time I get to the bit about the note, I can look into her eyes and get a pretty good idea where the evening is headed. Frankly, it works like a charm.

So there you have it. A little more background on Valentine’s Day, as well as a potent aphrodisiac.

Ask Anyone is local advice for locals with problems. Please send your questions for our panel of experts to

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