Don’t panic—the arthouse stuff tends not to get booked more than a few weeks ahead, so this is by no means a complete list.

Silver Surfer

June 15

FANTASTIC FOUR: RISE OF THE SILVER SURFER—Do you know anyone who liked 2005’s Fantastic Four? I mean, anyone over the age of 12? And yet here’s a sequel, with the same director and writer even, albeit one meant to launch a series with another Marvel Comics character. Starring Michael Chiklis, Jessica Alba, Ioan Gruffudd and Chris Evans. Directed by Tim Story.

JINDABYN—A Raymond Carver story that was already used as part of Robert Altman’s Short Cuts gets transplanted to Australia for this film by Ray Lawrence (Lantana). A group of friends on a fishing trip discover the body of a murdered woman but don’t report it until their trip is over. Starring Laura Linney, Gabriel Byrne, Chris Haywood and Deborra-Lee Furness.

NANCY DREW—Emam Roberts of the Nickelodeon show Unfabulous takes the part of the perennial girl detective in a film the studio is obviously hoping will turn into a profitable series. Directed by Andrew Fleming (The Craft).

Evan Almighty

June 22

1408—Stephen King adaptation starring John Cusack as a ghost debunker who meets his match in a haunted hotel room. It’s a second chance at American success for Swedish director Mikael Håfström, whose first Hollywood effort was the bloated Derailed. Co-starring Samuel L. Jackson.

CAPTIVITY—A fashion model (Elisha Cuthbert) is kidnapped by a serial killer, who sets out to break her psychologically. Nasty-sounding stuff that we would probably ignore but for the fact that it was directed by Roland Joffe (The Killing Fields, The Mission)

DAY WATCH—In the second part of the trilogy that began with the Russian fantasy epic Night Watch, the forces of Day and Night battle over the ruins of Moscow. Directed by Timur Bekmambetov.

DOA: DEAD OR ALIVE—Videogame adaptation. Has there ever been a good movie based on a video game? According to the newsgroup guys, the selling point of this one is a largely underdressed female cast (including Jaime Pressly, Holly Valance, Sarah Carter and Devon Aoki), within the limitations of a PG-13 rating. Directed by Hong Kong veteran Corey Yuen (Fong Sai Yuk).

EVAN ALMIGHTY—In this sequel to Bruce Almighty, newscaster Evan Baxter (Steve Carrell) has been elected to Congress, which prompts God (Morgan Freeman) to assign him to build an ark for—well, you know. It’s reputedly the most expensive comedy ever made, and as Steven Spielberg and Stanley Kramer can tell you, you can’t buy laughs. Directed by Tom Shadyac (Patch Adams).

Live Free or Die Hard

June 27

LIVE FREE OR DIE HARD—Geez, are those the only choices? Apparently inspired by the never-say-die attitudes of Sylvester Stallone and Harrison Ford, Bruce Willis laughs in the face of age as he reprises the role that made him an action hero. It’s going to be rated PG-13, which means it’s going to be awfully hard to work in the traditional “Yippie Ki Yay, notherfucker” line. Co-starring Justin Long, Maggie Q, Timothy Olyphant and Kevin Smith. (Yes, the same one.) Directed by Kate Beckinsale’s husband, if that means anything to you.

June 29

DEATH AT A FUNERAL—After the big-budget flop The Stepford Wives, director Frank Oz scales things down for this British-filmed comedy about a family’s attempts to ward off a blackmailer who wants to expose the dark secret of their recently deceased father. Starring Matthew Macfadyen, Rupert Graves, Jane Asher, Peter Dinklage and Ewen Bremner.

EVENING—Lajos Koltai, the veteran Hungarian cinematographer whose directorial debut Fateless was one of the best films I’ve ever seen about the Holocaust, directed this drama based on a novel by Susan Minot and adapted by Michael Cunningham (The Hours) about two women (Claire Danes, Toni Collette) dealing with the impending death of their mother (Vanessa Redgrave). The supporting cast includes Patrick Wilson, Hugh Dancy, Natasha Richardson, Meryl Streep and Glenn Close. So what the hell is this doing coming out in the middle of July rather than Oscar season?

ONCE—If any film got more good buzz at this year’s Sundance Festival, I don’t know what it could be. John Carney directed this Irish musical about a busker and an immigrant who develop a series of songs about their growing love.

RATATOUILLE—This year’s Pixar movie marks the return of director Brad Bird (The Incredibles). One assumes that the story of a rat who yearns to become a French chef was in development before the flop of last year’s rodent-based cartoon Flushed Away. Voices by Patton Oswalt, Ian Holm, Brian Dennehy, Peter O’Toole, Brad Garrett and Janeane Garofalo

SICKO—Michael Moore takes on the American health care (non)system. Expect sparks—in fact, pray for sparks.

July 3

LICENSE TO WED—The presence of three cast members and a regular director of the TV series The Office might be more of a draw than star Robin Williams, who hasn’t had a hit in a while. He plays a minister who puts an engaged couple (Mandy Moore, John Krasinski) through an unusually grueling marriage preparation course. Directed by Ken Kwapis (He Said She Said).

Transformers

July 4

TRANSFORMERS—Because there’s a whole new generation of kids who don’t already own the endless line of toys that inspired the 1980s series of the same name. We presume the plot won’t be the same as the animated 1986 movie, which certainly spared director Michael Bay (Pearl Harbor) the trouble of figuring out who should take the part played earlier by Orson Welles, that of a planet-eating monster. Starring Shia LaBeouf, Megan Fox, Rachel Taylor, Tyrese Gibson, Jon Voight, Anthony Anderson and John Turturro.

July 6

THE GOLDEN DOOR—Martin Scorsese is “presenting” the American release of this Italian drama set in the erly 20th century about a Sicilian farmer who brings his family to America for a better life. Starring Vincenzo Amato and Charlotte Gainsbourg. Directed by Emanuele Crialese (Respiro).

July 11

HARRY POTTER AND THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX—Number five, for those of you who lost track. After experimenting with talented veteran directors on the last two films (Mike Newell, Alfonso Cuarón), the producers brought in the relatively unknown TV director David Yates for the next two, along with a new screenwriter. As usual, starring Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson and just about every working British actor save Christopher Lee, which just seems rude.

July 20

HAIRSPRAY—From the director of some of the worst “family” comedies of recent years (Cheaper by the Dozen 2, The Pacifier, Bringing Down the House) and the scripter of best-seen-on-cable product like Freaky Friday, That Old Feeling and Look Who’s Talking Now comes this remake of a John Waters movie starring John Travolta in fat drag. They said life after the millennium would be messed up, but who knew?

I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU CHUCK AND LARRY—This one gets my vote for the most tasteless premise of the summer: Adam Sandler and Kevin James as Brooklyn firemen who pretend to be gay as part of an insurance scam. It was written by Alexander Payne (Sideways), so I’ll withhold judgment, though by the same token it was directed by Sandler’s house director Dennis Dugan. With Jessica Biel, Steve Buscemi, Dan Aykroyd, Ving Rhames and Richard Chamberlain.

The Simpsons Movie

July 27

I KNOW WHO KILLED ME—Lindsay Lohan as the mutilated but surviving victim of a serial killer. And we would want to see this why? With Julia Ormond, Neal McDonough and Brian Geraghty. Directed by Chris Sivertson.

NO RESERVATIONS—In a remake of the 2001 German film Mostly Martha, Catherine Zeta-Jones stars as a chef whose life is disrupted when she is required to become the guardian of her niece (Little Miss Sunshine’s Abigail Breslin). With Aaron Eckhart and Patricia Clarkson. Directed by Scott Hicks (Shine).

THE SIMPSONS MOVIE—“Homer must save the world from a catastrophe he himself created” is all the studio is giving out by way of a plot. If ever a TV show demanded to be adapted for the movies, this is not it, and I’m praying that the hugely unfunny trailer is intentionally misleading. Hopeful sign: The director (David Silverman) and writers are all longtime veterans of the show.

WHO’S YOUR CADDY—Imagine Caddyshack with rap singer Big Boi as Rodney Dangerfield and Jeffrey Jones as Ted Knight. Or not. Directed by Don Michael Paul (Half Past Dead).

Introducing the Dwights

August 3

BECOMING JANE—Anne Hathaway as a young Jane Austen. Gee, maybe it’ll be as big a hit as Miss Potter! Or not. With James McAvoy, Julie Walters, James Cromwell, Maggie Smith. Directed by Julian Jarrold (Kinky Boots).

THE BOURNE ULTIMATUM—Same star (Matt Damon), same director (Paul Greengrass), same writer—all of which the studio hopes will mean the same $200+ million at the box office. With Paddy Considine, Edgar Ramirez, Brian Cox, Julia Stiles, Chris Cooper, Joan Allen and David Strathairn.

BRATZ: THE MOVIE—A movie designed to get kids to buy sexually offensive dolls. You have been warned. Starring no one I’ve ever heard of.

CHARLIE BARTLETT—Teen comedy starring Anton Yelchin as a rich kid kicked out of prep school who finds success at public school by becoming an unofficial counselor. With Robert Downey Jr. and Hope Davis. Directed by former editor Jon Poll.

HOT ROD—Saturday Night Live’s Andy Samberg as an aspiring stuntman who gets in over his heard trying to impress his stepfather (Ian McShane). Co-starring Sissy Spacek. Directed by Akiva Schaffer.

INTRODUCING THE DWIGHTS—A hit at Sundance, this Australian coming-of-age comedy stars Khan Chittenden as a shy 20-year-old trying to break free of the grip of his mother (Brenda Blethyn), a failed stand-up comic.

RESURRECTING THE CHAMP—Advance word is strong for this new film by former film critic turned filmmaker Rod Lurie (The Contender), starring Josh Hartnett as a reporter trying to get a story out of a boxing star (Samuel L. Jackson) fallen on hard times. With Teri Hatcher, Alan Alda and David Paymer.

UNDERDOG—I’m tempted to write this live-action/CGI hybrid off as another fond childhood memory raped by Hollywood, but the casting of Peter Dinklage and Patrick Warburton as villain Simon Barsinister and his henchman Cad is promising. Jason Lee and Amy Adams provide the voices of Underdog and Polly Purebred. Directed by Frederik Du Chau (Racing Stripes).

August 10

RUSH HOUR 3—Every year it gets harder and harder to defend Jackie Chan to people who have only seen his watered-down American films. I hold little hope that this will be the one to change that. With Chris Tucker, Hiroyuki Sanada, Max von Sydow and Roman Polanski (?!?!?). Directed by Brett Ratner (Hannibal).

STARDUST—Adapation of a fantasy novel by Neil Gaiman, and if you think I’m even going to attempt to synopsize one of those you can guess again. Charlie Cox stars with a supporting cast that includes Claire Danes, Robert De Niro, Sienna Miller, Michelle Pfeiffer, Jason Flemyng, Rupert Everett, Ian McKellen, Peter O’Toole, Ricky Gervais and Billie Whitelaw. Directed by Matthew Vaughn (Layer Cake).

DADDY DAY CAMP—Yes, it’s a sequel to Daddy Day Care. No, Eddie Murphy isn’t in it. Cuba Gooding Jr. is. The much anticipated film directorial debut of former child star Fred Savage. (Yes, that was sarcasm.)

August 17

THE INVASION—If too many cooks truly spoil the broth, there’s not a lot of hope for this science-fiction story (psychiatrist Nicole Kidman versus alien invasion) that was originally directed by Oliver Hirschbieger (Downfall), taken over by the Wachowski Brothers (Matrix) and finished by James McTeigue (V for Vendetta). Probably just as well—if it’s any good, who will get the credit? With Daniel Craig, Jeremy Northam, Jeffrey Wright and Veronica Cartwright.

SUPERBAD—Giving your movie a title like this is just asking for trouble from snarky critics who would rather get off a good line than write an objective review. Ignore the plot (sounds like a frat comedy) and concentrate on the fact that it was produced and written by some of the folk behind The 40 Year Old Virgin and Knocked Up. Directed by Greg Mottola (The Daytrippers).

Balls of Fury

August 24

ILLEGAL TENDER—Urban drama starring Rick Gonzalez as a young man who goes to Puerto Rico to seek revenge on the crime syndicate that murdered his father. Directed by Franc Reyes (Empire).

THE LAST LEGION—Formerly known as The Enchanted Sword, this period epic about a barbarian invasion of the Roman Empire was originally supposed to open in January. Starring Colin Firth, Ben Kingsley, Aishwarya Rai and Peter Mullan. The feature debut of Sam Raimi associate Doug Lefler.

MR. BEAN’S HOLIDAY—Rowan Atkinson’s nearly silent clown is back, this time on vacation in the south of France. Co-starring Steve Pemberton, Emma de Caunes and Willem Dafoe. Directed by Steve Bendelack (The League of Gentlemen).

Halloween

August 31

BALLS OF FURY—Dan Fogler, Tony winner for The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee, stars as a ping-pong champion enlisted by the CIA to infiltrate a mob-backed tournament. It’s a long way from Broadway. With Christopher Walken, Jason Scott Lee and Maggie Q. From the creators of Reno 911.

DEATH SENTENCE—Maybe director James Wan (Saw) was mad that Tarantino didn’t invite him to participate in Grindhouse, because it’s hard to think of any other reason for this remake of the 1970s revenge melodrama Death Wish. Kevin Bacon takes the Charles Bronson role of the family man who becomes a vigilante killer, with John Goodman as the chief bad guy.

HALLOWEEN—Malcolm McDowell is Dr. Loomis and Scout Taylor-Compton is Laurie Strode in Rob Zombie’s remake of the 1978 John Carpenter movie that led to a zillion crappy slasher movies in the 1980s. Like Zombie’s The Devil’s Rejects, this has an endless supporting cast designed to let fan boys play wink-wink, nudge-nudge: Brad Dourif, William Forsythe, Udo Kier, Dee Wallace, Ken Foree, Adrienne Barbeau, Clint Howard, Sybil Danning, Daniel Roebuck, Micky Dolenz, Tom Towles and Richard Lynch.