CLICK RE-SEND?

I have been a critic of the mayor, going so far as to send him emails calling him incompetent and making wild accusations about his sexual orientation. A couple of months back, the police arrived at my house at 7am with a search warrant. They confiscated computers, cell phones, bank records and personal effects, before taking me down to the Attorney General’s office for questioning. I was never arrested, but I was also taken against my will to FBI headquarters.

Eight hours later, I was released with a warning that if I ever told the media or a lawyer about what happened, I would be charged with a crime.

Question: Should I stop sending emails to the mayor, criticizing his shameful leadership?

—Anonymous

The Gay Perspective: If you are going to call anyone incompetent, you should back it up with fact, and you should never make “wild accusations” about anyone’s personal life, much less his sexual orientation. If what you say regarding the behavior of law enforcement is true, that is shameful, but frankly, your own credibility is questionable.

The Sales Guy says: You should definitely stop sending insulting emails to Mayor Brown. It’s a known he can be quite vindictive and bitchy when crossed—not that there’s anything wrong with that, you understand. I would also strongly suggest you start sucking up. You know, throw him a bone or two. Maybe volunteering to shovel out some side streets, or cheer wildly at one of Byron’s ribbon-cutting speeches taking credit for something he had absolutely nothing to do with.

You screwed up big time. You sent an email to an elected public servant! You’re lucky your ass wasn’t sent to Git-Mo for re-orientation.

The Practical Cogitator says: Is that you, Dick Kern?

Just kidding. You need to put aside your computer (assuming you ever get it back). It won’t do you any good and might get you in more trouble.

No, what you need is a wayback machine. Because nothing short of time travel will extricate you from this mess. Whatever they think you did must have been very bad, and unless you go back in time, it can’t be undone.

Traditionally, political revenge in this town is limited to expensive primary challenges and tire slashings. (Ask Lovejoy District Councilmember Rich Fontana, whose tires were slashed just last week outside City Hall.) That old gadfly Kern was prosecuted 11 times by Erie County DA Frank Clark, but he never went through what you’re going through. The rules seem to have changed.

TOTALLY FACED

I have a new girlfriend I really like, but here’s the thing: She has over 2,000 friends on Facebook. Mostly men. Not only that, but a lot of them send her messages that are filled with innuendo. I don’t really get into all the online stuff like MySpace and Facebook, but people who do tell me that 2000 is an awful lot of friends to have, for someone who isn’t a celebrity.

I don’t know what to make of it. I’ve never been jealous before, but now I experience fits of nausea every time she says she needs to spend some time on the computer catching up with old friends. What’s so wrong about leaving your past behind and starting fresh?

—Grumpy Young Man

Ruthless says: Your girl is what they call a “Facebook whale”—a term for users who have amassed more than 1,000 “friends.” In fact, that makes her a double “Facebook whale,” an indication of a cavalier attitude toward strangers that may be worrisome. Researchers say that having more than 800 Facebook “friends” makes a user look insecure. And who is this woman, anyway? Mahalo.com CEO Jason Calcanis apparently holds the record at 2,842 “friends,” but then again, he is the Chief Executive Officer of a massive human-powered search engine. What’s her excuse?

The Gay Perspective: What’s her name on Facebook?

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