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Scorecard: The Week's Winners & Losers

Faceoff

Were it not for the actions of one crazy old man (no, not Ralph Wilson), the Tennessee Titans’ 41-17 defeat of the Buffalo Bills on Nov. 15 would go down in history as just another embarassing Bills’ self-destruction in just another lost season. However, thanks to the double flying-fingered salute Titans’ owner Bud Adams was captured giving the Bills after the game ended, we now have a new entrant into the Buffalo Sports Villainy Hall of Fame!

Let’s go to the judges to see how Adams’ obscene gesture stacks up against all-time great Buffalo sports villain and fellow fan of “the finger” Bryan Cox, who famously flicked off Bills fans while playing for the Dolphins in 1993.

Bud Adams

team owner

vs.

Bryan Cox

linebacker


General Villainry

Owns team that defeated Bills in the infamous 1999 “Music City Miracle” game (which was marred by a game-winning but illegal forward pass). Achieved the rare trifecta of playing for all three of the Bills’ most hated rivals (Miami, NY Jets, New England) during his career.
AV SCORE: 7.0 AV SCORE: 8.5

Technical Merit

Adams and Bills’ owner Ralph Wilson have always had a bit of a rivalry, being the two longest-tenured owners in the NFL and original builders of the AFL. Despite openly proclaiming his hatred for Buffalo leading up to the game, Cox claimed his double dose was retribution for “racist taunts” by Bills fans.
7.5 7.0

Style Points

Showed zealous love for fingering. Used multiple techniques and variations (single, double-fisted). Business first. Got the job done but lacked passion. Motivated by anger, hatred for recipient.
9.0 7.5

Degree of Difficulty

Adams’ gesture was made from his private luxury box for the benefit of a home crowd. Cox dared the wrath of the NFL’s most passionate (and drunk) fans in their own house.
6.0 9.5

The Judges Table

Adams
8.125

Cox
8.875

Adams
7.551

Cox
8.565

Adams
8.750

Cox
8.275

COX 8.572 > ADAMS 8.142

Adams’ strong technical marks from the Taiwanese judge manage to keep this competition close, but Cox pulls it out thanks to his high level of general douchebaggery.





The Week's Winners & Losers

Swine Flu

A 10th-grade student at Niagara Wheatfield died Nov. 16 from complications related to swine flu. Now before you let paranoia take hold, try to remember that everyday non-swine flu kills roughly 36,000 Americans annually. Wait…that’s not comforting.

"Hillbilly Cocaine"

In a story that reinforces a whole host of hilarious stereotypes, a meth lab operating out of a trailer in the Genesse County town of Alabama was busted by police on Nov. 12. Two men were arrested on charges of producing the seriously bad drug.

New License Plates

Gov. David Paterson backed away from an admitted “revenue grab” that would have required drivers to purchase new license plates for $25. The wildly unpopular measure would have brought in an estimated $129 million to the state.

Death

Amherst resident Olivia Patricia Thomas, who held the record for oldest person born American and was the world’s third oldest overall, finally succumbed to the reaper on Nov. 16 after living to the ripe age of 114 years, 140 days. Job well done.

Perry Fewell

The Buffalo Bills defensive coordinator will get his (likely brief) moment in the sun as he was named interim head coach Nov. 17. Though beset with a bevy of injuries, Fewell led what many would call an atrocious defense (ranked dead last against the run).





By the numbers...

35.8

Cases of infectious diseases per 100,000 New Yorkers, dead last in the nation, according to statistics released Nov. 17 by the United Health Foundation. Overall healthcare in New York was ranked 25th, one place higher than last year. Vermont was ranked as having the best healthcare system.

28

Number of individuals arrested in Erie County on Nov. 17 in connection with a cocaine trafficking ring that used the US Postal Service to ship the narcotics from Puerto Rico to Buffalo. Those involved in the smuggling reportedly used code words like “tires and rims” and “haircut” to describe figures and transactions.

42.1

Buffalo Bills win percentage during the three and a half years that Dick Jauron was head coach. Jauron was fired on Nov. 17 after guiding the Bills to a 3-6 campaign and missing the playoffs for what will be the ninth consecutive season. Jauron’s Bills went 7-9 in each of his first three seasons in Buffalo and the offense never ranked higher than 25th in total yards gained or 23rd in points scored.


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