Artvoice: Buffalo's #1 Newsweekly
Home Blogs Web Features Calendar Listings Artvoice TV Real Estate Classifieds Contact
Previous story: Six Days: The Straight Dope From the (Abbreviated) Week That Was
Next story: Round 3 Week 4: The Square Circle vs. Iceberg

Scorecard: The Week's Winners & Losers

New Year's Edition

It’s that time of year again! Time to quit smoking! Time to start smoking! Time to stop sending threatening letters to the ex-wife! With the coming of the new year and the opportunity for a fresh start, many will look inward and once again make half-hearted attempts to become better people. With that in mind, the Week in Review presents its New Year’s resolution recommendations for some of the more—how shall we say?—public-relations-challenged local figures of 2009.

Chris Collins, Erie County Executive

Resolution: Not to make comments that could be considered anti-Semitic.

Reason: Criticized heavily for referring to State Assemblyman Sheldon Silver, a Jew, as “the anti-Christ” at a Republican fundraiser in October.

How he can pull it off: Focus on making off-color remarks that offend more politically safe targets for Republicans—like gays, Mexicans, poor people.

Degree of difficulty: 7

Endurance: June 6

Patrick Kane, hockey player, cheapskate

Resolution: To carry exact change.

Reason: Arrested and pled guilty to disorderly conduct in August for an assault against a Buffalo cab driver who was short 20 cents in change on a $13.80 fare.

How he can pull it off: Hire a personal driver with the five-year, $31.5 million contract extension he signed in December, so he’ll no longer have to trifle with cabs.

Degree of difficulty: 4

Endurance: Dec 31

Terrell Owens, football player, diva

Resolution: To get the hell out of Buffalo as soon as is humanly possible.

Reason: Owens is on pace for his worst season since 1999 and even though he still has two games remaining, he tweeted on Sunday that he was already “looking 4wd to 2010.”

How he can pull it off: Good thing Owens opted to rent during his high-profile reality TV search for housing in Orchard Park. His ticket to South Beach was booked weeks ago.

Degree of difficulty: 0

Endurance: Dec 31

Steve Pigeon, political operative

Resolution: To win an election in 2010.

Reason: Apart from this year’s mayor’s race, WNY’s most wired political operative hasn’t won many in regulation. His success has been in fundraising and dealmaking—witness Golisano and the State Senate coup.

How he can pull it off: With about $5 million more of Tom Golisano’s money.

Degree of difficulty: 9

Endurance: Nov. 2

The Week's Winners & Losers

$8 Hamster Toys

Target officials on Dec. 20 backed down and reversed a controversial decision to fire seven Lancaster workers who bought Zhu Zhu Pets (this year’s asinine holiday fad) during off hours, a violation of policy limiting employee purchase of in-demand items.

Interwebs Usage

Ralph Hernandez, Buffalo School Board president, is in hot water over a state audit that found porn and visits to gambling sites on his district-issued laptop. Hernandez denied he had visited the sites himself but admitted being subject to the audit.

Gift Horses

Speaking of smut, Rick Snowden, owner of the Cheektowaga exotic club Rick’s Tally-Ho, was rebuffed on Dec. 19 in his effort to donate the $20,000 needed for the fiscally challenged downtown New Year’s Eve ball drop to proceed.


Shooting for Henry’s Crime, the Keanu Reeves rom-com filming in town, wrapped up on Dec. 19 with several scenes shot at a Jin Lan restaurant in Kenmore. Will this spur more Hollywood directors to film in Western New York? No, it won’t.

Economic Advice

Buffalo Mayor Byron Brown sent a letter to President Barack Obama on Dec. 19 outlining ideas from the recent job forum hosted by the city. Hard to believe, but with unemployment at 10% nationwide and the city sitting pretty at 8.6%, we look positively boomish.

By the numbers...


Number of passengers on DirectAir Flight 5815 on Dec. 18, officially the first flight to depart from the recently opened $31.5 million Niagara Falls International Airport. The nonstop service to Punta Gorda, Fla., is one of only two routes operating out of the airport.


Consecutive seasons the Buffalo Bills have missed the playoffs, tied with the Detroit Lions for the longest active streak in the NFL, after losing to the New England Patriots 17-10 on Dec. 20. That loss was part of an impressive streak as well, the Bills’ 13th consecutive loss to the division rival Patriots.


Total value of health insurance premiums paid by the Buffalo Public Schools Board to six retired employees who are dead, according to a state audit released on Dec. 22. The district asserted that this represented a very small failure rate since auditors checked a total of 5,269 records. The total was a far cry from a 2007 audit, which revealed $544,000 in benefits to dead retirees and their spouses.

blog comments powered by Disqus