Distracted Drivers

State Police reported on Jan. 27 that the trucker involved in a deadly crash with a Snyder mother last month was not only sleep deprived but also distracted by the porno he was watching on his laptop. Words can barely describe the WTF-ness.

Publicity Stunts

The nutty animal rights organization PETA offered on Jan. 25 to help pay for repairs to the Peace Bridge in exchange for renaming it the “Peace On Your Plate” Bridge. PETA would be pretty sorry if they actually knew what it would cost to get that thing up to code.

Holy Communion

Thanks to the waning of the flu crisis, Bishop Edward Kumiec of the Buffalo Diocese informed pastors on Jan. 22 that Catholics can resume their ritual of drinking the symbolic blood of a 2,000-year-old zombie from a cup. Bottoms up!

Carpetbaggers

Proving yet again that just about any rich person with political aspirations (RFK, Hillary Clinton) can move to New York and — for now — contemplate a run for Senator, Harold Ford a Democrat from Tennessee visited Buffalo Jan. 24 to learn about upstate issues.

Dubious Defenses

Muzzammil Hassan, the Orchard Park man accused of beheading his wife last February, abruptly changed his defense on Jan. 22 from extreme emotional disturbance to claiming he was a “battered spouse”. Somewhere in a jail cell far away, O.J. is smiling.

Minutes elapsed before someone cried on the Jan. 24 airing of ABC’s “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition”. Over 2,000 people, including remodeld homeowner Delores Powell, gathered at Shea’s for a live viewing of the show, which featured the remodeling of a home on Massachusetts Ave. on Buffalo’s West Side.