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Ask Anyone

doily dilemma

Last year I did something that seems kind of foolish. There is a woman in my office I’m interested in, and I decided to send her a Valentine...but because I didn’t want to make her feel awkward (I don’t think she knew how I felt), I also gave a Valentine to everyone in the office. Handmade, cutout doilies, the whole nine yards. Almost everyone thought it was funny, sort of like grade school again, and stopped by my desk to say thank you or make a little joke about it. She didn’t, though—the one person I wanted to say something. A year has passed and Valentine’s Day is here again. I’m still crazy about her, but nothing has happened. Was what I did last year dumb? Should I assume she’s not interested? Should I do it again? Or make a Valentine just for her?

Thirteen Again

Dining Out says: Perhaps your crush is an ice princess. Are you certain she’s single? And if so, do you want to start a relationship with someone you work with? If you’re willing to put your heart on the carving board, throw your scissors and red construction paper aside, purchase a dozen red tulips, and profess your feelings to her in person.

Ruthless says: Maybe she was disappointed. Maybe she thought you were going to do something special just for her, to make your intentions known, and instead you treated her just like everyone else in the office. Maybe she didn’t stop by your desk to say “thank you” or make a “little joke” because she was on the verge of tears. Maybe she went home and cried herself to sleep.

Maybe she’ll call in sick this Valentine’s Day.

Stop wussing around. You are NOT in grade school, you don’t need Valentine’s Day to come around to ask her out. You waited a year for another opportunity?

A year?

to be (lieve), or not to be (lieve)

My girlfriend says she doesn’t care about Valentine’s Day. We’ve been together nearly a year and it’s serious, we live together, share a car, etc. But this is our first Valentine’s Day together, and when I asked her what she wanted to do she just shrugged, said she didn’t care about it, it’s a “Hallmark Holiday,” and so on.

Now, I know if my mother told me to forget Mother’s Day because it was a “Hallmark Holiday,” and I did, I’d be dead. Should I listen to my girlfriend or get her flowers, champagne, and candy anyway?

—Looking a Gift Horse in the Mouth

The Practical Cogitator says: You should ask her to marry you. On Valentine’s Day.

Dining out says: It sounds like she needs a dose of Vitamin D and a trip to Florida. Call your travel agent and start looking for airfares down South.

Ruthless says: Oh, women. Always saying “yes” when they mean “no.” The lady doth protest too much, yethinks? Go ahead and blow your cash on some trite gifts. You’ll probably get a polite, embarrassed thank you—nothing near the passionate reward sex you must be anticipating.

Stop buying into cultural stereotypes! Your mom sounds like she conditioned you well. Would she really entrap you into a guaranteed guilt-trip like that? If so, sounds like you found the opposite type in your girlfriend. Why don’t you buy her a thank you present, to thank her for letting you off the hook on Valentine’s Day? That way, you still get to get her something, and she’s not embarrassed by the saccharine, V-Day quality of it all.

p.s. Do you know how many guys dread this holiday? You are a lucky son-of-a-bitch. Literally.

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