Manufactured by 8x8, Inc. (http://8x8.com)

Resold by Packet8 Inc. (http://packet8.net)

Resold by 5Linx Enterprises Inc. (http://5linx.com)

Resold by Team Kelly (http://teamkelly.biz)

VoIP is a big deal in the technology sector these days, but it’s actually a pretty simple concept. VoIP stands for “Voice Over Internet Protocol,” and it is the technology used to send phone calls over the Internet rather than the standard telephone network. The major benefit of using VoIP is that it’s cheaper to use the Internet, where a connection halfway around the world doesn’t cost any more than a connection halfway across town, rather than using the standard telephone network, where every phone company between your phone and the other phone shows up somewhere on your bill. Another benefit is that VoIP can take advantage of the flexibility of the Internet to bring more functionality to your phone—namely videophone service, the holy grail of the Information Superhighway.

I was treated to a demonstration of 8x8’s DV326 videophone by Dan Kelly, senior vice president of Team Kelly. I’ve worked with enterprise VoIP systems in the past, and they were very confusing and difficult to set up properly. It was a pleasant surprise when I found out how easy the DV326 was to set up—you plug it in, you turn it on, you make a call. The sound quality of the DV326 was at least as good as a regular phone. The video quality was actually quite good, but certainly left room for improvement in future models.

What was less impressive to me was Dan’s sales pitch. Dan Kelly is the brother of Hall of Fame quarterback and Team Kelly National Director Jim Kelly. Team Kelly resells Globalinx VoIP service for 5Linx Enterprises of Rochester, but Globalinx isn’t so much a service of 5Linx, but a rebranding of Packet8’s VoIP service. 5Linx doesn’t actually sell phones, so much as selling businesses that sell phones. Team Kelly is one of those businesses, and they also sell businesses rather than phones. But the businesses that they sell, don’t sell phones either, and so on. It’s like a digital-age Amway, and Dan was shoveling bullshit thicker than Dan Rather’s election-night toupee.

After a very brief discussion of the phone, we watched a PowerPoint presentation featuring dollar signs and diagrams of pyramids. Talk turned to whether we were happy with the lives we were living. Wouldn’t we like to make more money, retire early, spend more quality time with our families? Things took a serious turn for the weird when Dan Kelly pushed the DV326 videophone towards me and looked me earnestly in the eyes: “This phone will help you live your dreams.”

Whoa, Dan.

Pros: Easy to set up, excellent audio quality, good video quality, helps you live your dreams.

Cons: Dan Kelly gets really excited about the DV326. And when Dan Kelly gets really excited, he gets really weird.

Dave Kleinschmidt is Artvoice’s system administrator, and still uses a rotary phone. You can send him electronic mail at david@artvoice.com or actual, paper mail at Artvoice, 810 Main St, Buffalo, NY 14202.