Those Places You Go
Where You Buy Things • The Place We Live
Congratulations!
Let’s all raise a toast.
The votes’ve been counted!
Which places got most?
You had booze on your mind.
You had ants in your pants.
You wanted to drink,
and you wanted to dance.
You know all of Buffalo, the places you roam,
to drink and carouse, because this is your home.
Let’s go hit the town, take a pretend turn about,
and see what we find on an average night out.
We’ll start out with happy hour at Goodbar or Soho.
Their free food is great, and they’re selling cheap SoCo.
Or maybe we need
a wizard drink mixer.
A barkeep with wisdom,
a real bad day fixer.
There’s Jimmy and BJ,
from Cathode and Brick Bar.
Or Amie and Jamie,
Roxy’s drink-pouring rock stars.
Now you’ve food in your stomach,
So what’s more to drink?
There’s beer, wine and cocktails.
The time’s now to think.
If you like varied grapes,
and a big choice of brew.
Hardware has both,
so that ought to do.
O, THE PLACES YOU GO!
If you’re a classy sort,
and you had your druthers.
You’d most likely drink
at Left Bank or Mother’s.
But for wags like me and people the same,
we go to the pub where folks know our name.
At Cole’s and the Essex,
they don’t make a stink,
Same goes for the dives,
like Merlin’s or the Pink.
If you’re a girl who likes dames,
or a guy who likes fellas,
you’re likely to go to
Roxy’s or Marcella’s.
Now you want to get down,
your belly full of beers.
You want to hear music,
Cause your head’s full of ears.
When you want the real deal,
when it comes to live bands,
only these clubs
can meet your demands:
You like the Town Ballroom,
They run a tight ship.
They bring in big acts
like J5 and the Hip.
As Mohawk rocks indie,
Sportsmen’s does twang.
Nietzsche’s is jumping,
And Diablo can bang.
Jukeboxes do fine when you just want an old tune
to sing softly in the setting of your favorite saloon.
At Potter’s Field and Faherty’s, jukeboxes crackle,
while at Club Karaoke, bad singers just cackle.
Why not give it a shot? What song can’t you tackle?
There are those among you who like to play games,
called darts, pool or bowling, and other such names.
Voelker’s and Recckio’s are two alleys for bowling.
At Faherty’s they keep the game footage rolling,
and there’s darts and there’s billiards, if that’s not consoling.
The writing’s on the wall
At Broadway Joe’s and the Showplace.
But you can’t read the stall,
’cause you’ve got on your shitface.
Now it’s time to go home,
after Steakout or Towne.
To lay in your bed,
as the world spins around.
And think lovely thoughts
about all those places you go,
all those places you went,
on a night in Buffalo.
—peter koch
Best Bathroom Graffiti Old Pink Broadway Joe’s Nietzsche’s Mohawk Place Showplace Best Beer Selection Pearl Street Cole’s Allen Street Hardware Colter Bay Mr. Goodbar Best Bowling Alley Voelker’s Transit Lanes Recckio’s Kenmore Lanes Airport lanes Best Cocktails Chocolate Bar Cecelia’s Sample Nektar Fugazi
Best Dance Club Level Roxy’s Club Marcella Club Paradise La Luna Best Dive Bar Old Pink Mulligan’s Brick Bar Essex Street Pub Nietzsche’s Merlin’s Best Bartender, Female Jenn Parker @ Club Diablo Lindsey @ Darcy McGee’s Rose @ Fugazi Jamie Cudney @ Roxy’s Amie Zinzola @ Roxy’s
Best Bartender, Male Jimmy @ Cathode Ray Mike @ Founding Fathers BJ @ Brick Bar Dave @ Fat Bob’s Jayme Coxx @ Adonia’s Best Gay-friendly Bar Club Marcella Cathode Ray Roxy’s Fugazi Q Best Lesbian-friendly Bar Roxy’s Miss Kitty’s Adonia’s Club Marcella Old Pink |
Best Happy Hour Soho Cozumel Macaroons Crocodile Bar Mr. Goodbar Best Jukebox Essex Street Pub Faherty’s Mulligan’s Brick Bar Old Pink Potter’s Field Best Karaoke Roxy’s Tudor Lounge Frizzy’s Club Karaoke Garden Park Cafe Best Live Music Mohawk Place Town Ballroom Sportsmen’s Tavern Club Diablo Nietzsche’s Best Neighborhood Pub Founding Fathers Cole’s Mulligan’s Brick Bar Allen Street Hardware Essex Street Pub Best New Bar Snooty Fox Bayou Staples Duo Stillwater Best Place to Shoot Pool Slick Willie’s Pearl Street Classic Cue Faherty’s Hippodrome Best Place to Throw Darts Macaroons Mulligan’s Brick Bar Frizzy’s Faherty’s Cole’s Best Place to Watch a Game Cole’s Pearl Street At home Tully’s Faherty’s Best Upscale Bar Stillwater Mother’s Chocolate Bar Snooty Fox Left Bank Best Wine List Bacchus Mother’s Shango Allen Street Hardware Buffalo Chophouse
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