You had booze on your mind.

You had ants in your pants.

You wanted to drink,

and you wanted to dance.

You know all of Buffalo, the places you roam,

to drink and carouse, because this is your home.

Cecilias

Let’s go hit the town, take a pretend turn about,

and see what we find on an average night out.

We’ll start out with happy hour at Goodbar or Soho.

Their free food is great, and they’re selling cheap SoCo.

Or maybe we need

a wizard drink mixer.

A barkeep with wisdom,

a real bad day fixer.

There’s Jimmy and BJ,

from Cathode and Brick Bar.

Or Amie and Jamie,

Roxy’s drink-pouring rock stars.

Now you’ve food in your stomach,

So what’s more to drink?

There’s beer, wine and cocktails.

The time’s now to think.

If you like varied grapes,

and a big choice of brew.

Hardware has both,

so that ought to do.

O, THE PLACES YOU GO!

If you’re a classy sort,

and you had your druthers.

You’d most likely drink

at Left Bank or Mother’s.

But for wags like me and people the same,

we go to the pub where folks know our name.

At Cole’s and the Essex,

they don’t make a stink,

Same goes for the dives,

like Merlin’s or the Pink.

Nietzsche's

If you’re a girl who likes dames,

or a guy who likes fellas,

you’re likely to go to

Roxy’s or Marcella’s.

Now you want to get down,

your belly full of beers.

You want to hear music,

Cause your head’s full of ears.

When you want the real deal,

when it comes to live bands,

only these clubs

can meet your demands:

You like the Town Ballroom,

They run a tight ship.

They bring in big acts

like J5 and the Hip.

As Mohawk rocks indie,

Sportsmen’s does twang.

Nietzsche’s is jumping,

And Diablo can bang.

Jukeboxes do fine when you just want an old tune

to sing softly in the setting of your favorite saloon.

At Potter’s Field and Faherty’s, jukeboxes crackle,

while at Club Karaoke, bad singers just cackle.

Why not give it a shot? What song can’t you tackle?

There are those among you who like to play games,

called darts, pool or bowling, and other such names.

Voelker’s and Recckio’s are two alleys for bowling.

At Faherty’s they keep the game footage rolling,

and there’s darts and there’s billiards, if that’s not consoling.

The writing’s on the wall

At Broadway Joe’s and the Showplace.

But you can’t read the stall,

’cause you’ve got on your shitface.

Now it’s time to go home,

after Steakout or Towne.

To lay in your bed,

as the world spins around.

And think lovely thoughts

about all those places you go,

all those places you went,

on a night in Buffalo.

—peter koch