Any color, as long as it’s black. Not.

Sometimes going through life with an English degree hanging on my wall is a curse. And I don’t mean only on pay days. I often find myself reading ads, signs, and even professionally written press releases, and scratching my head. Don’t these people have editors?

2009 Lincoln MKS (In Sangria Red)

What got me going today was reading a press release on the new Lincoln MKS, which I was all set to review this week. Check out this headline: “LINCOLN MKS COLOR PALETTE DENOTES QUALITY, LUXE.” Luxe? C’mon, reading a simple press release should not send the reader scurrying to the dictionary to see if “luxe” is really a word. (It is.) But it seems like an odd word to use in the automotive industry. My Webster’s defines luxe thusly: luxury. So why not use the more common term? If luxe means luxury, I’m wondering if all these years the industry incorrectly used “deluxe” to denote models higher up the hierarchy of modeldom. If “luxe” signifies luxury, then it follows that “deluxe” would be a model which has been de-luxed, undergone a “luxe-ectomy.” Which we all know not to be the case at all.

So anyway, since I was off-track on the Lincoln MKS review, I read the rest of the press release on color. And without a doubt, at least according to Ford’s Color and Materials design manager Susan Sage (I’d have liked it better if her name was Rosemary), “It’s critical. Color creates an aesthetic emotion. If it’s a color that the customer loves, if it gives them that sense of balance and comfort, they’ll want it. It can make or break a sale.” And I can tell you from my stint as a car salesman, color often is higher on a customer’s list than price is. I could never see it myself. In 1987 I was buying a new car. “Got one in red?” I asked the sales guy. “One left,” he said. We went out and looked at it, talked price, and I said I’d let him know tomorrow. “Only one left,” he reminded me. I went back the next day and someone had bought the red car after I’d left. “What else ya got?” I asked. “There’s a black one over there,” he said and pointed. “Okay, I’ll take it,” I replied. I guess my sense of balance and comfort wasn’t quite as keen as Ms. Sage would think.

That car I ended up with in 1987 was black. That’s it, just black. That won’t do in 2009 I guess. Check out the color choices for the new Lincoln MKS: Tuxedo Black Metallic, White Suede, Brilliant Silver Metallic, Sangria, Smokestone, Light Ice Blue, Dark Ink Blue, Cinnamon, and White Chocolate.

Being of simple mind, I had to cruise over to http://build.lincoln.com to see just what some of those colors translate to in everyday English. Smokestone looks to me like tan; White Chocolate is something I’d probably call off-white; Cinnamon is a darkish red, while Sangria is a brighter red. (Now if they had a color called “Beer,” I’d be right there!)

Back to that black 1987. It was a Ford Escort. Pretty much a “get me from point A to point B” type of car. There are many books written on the subject of how we choose color. I haven’t read any of them. But if I did, I’d read: that bright red car I missed out on indicated adjectives such as sexy, speedy, high energy, and dynamic. (Maybe the salesman just wouldn’t let me have the red car because he knew me.) Then again, one of the things indicated by the black car I ended up with, after the salesman suggested I buy it instead, was that I’m not easily manipulated. Hmm…

Other color qualities: white, besides showing all the dirt, also shows fastidiousness; dark blue indicates dependability; and silver means you’re elegant, futuristic, and cool.

I’ve never had a silver car.