Rapids Theater Wednesday, April 12, 8pm $30
Crazy at it seems, the 80s styled glam-rock metal band Steel Panther currently holds slots for Billboards #1 Comedy album, # 2 Hard Rock album, # 5 Rock album and #12 Digital sales at the same time. They’re certainly a decent metal band in terms of musicianship, but that’s not what’s skyrocketing their career. They have a boatload of misogynistic song lyrics competitive with any thug hip-hop artist, but that’s not what’s propelling them either.
Steel Panther is an unbridled force of 1980s hard metal over-sexed chaos combined with the anarchistic sense of humor of the punk rockers of the 70s. They love to sing about drugs & rock and roll and particularly sex, evident in song titles like: “17 Girls in a Row,” “Asian Hooker,” Weenie Ride,” etc. But they love even more to attack popular established trends, established artists, or anything we’re all supposed to numbly accept as good. This is not a band who will tell you they were influenced by The Eagles. Although their attacks aren’t intelligent, deep or profound they are funny, particularly in their live shows, powered by their heavy metal music. To give you an idea of where they’re coming from here are a few lines excerpted from their song “Death To All But Metal.”
The Goo Goo Dolls, they can suck my balls
They look like the dogs that hang out at the mall
Eminem can suck it, so can Dr. Dre….
Everybody shout, “Heavy metal’s back!”
Death to all but metal….
Death to Papa Roach, Blink 182
All those fucking pussies sounds like doggy-doo
Wearing baggy pants, spiking up their hair
They’re not worth the crust on my underwear
Where is Def Leppard? Where is Mötley Crüe?
Why do all lyrics sound like Dr. Seuss?
Death to all but metal…
Kill those fucking fuckheads who program MTV
They can suck my ass with all the record companies
Death to Britney Spears, kill the little slut
Kill Madonna too
Fuck Mariah Carey, death to Sheryl Crowe
They can kiss each other on the camel toe
50 Cent’s a fag, so is Kanye West…
Death to all but metal
Death to all but metal
There’s no question that not everyone has the urge to wear plaid shirts and show up at Americana shows, drift off to wispy girls singing like 5-year-olds, or keep up with the hip-hop flavor of the day. Some people just want to rock, get drunk and end up in bed with a warm body. And they want to laugh. Steel Panther’s there for you.
Steel Panther performs at: